Vindication
by Emilyy1408
Summary: Started in New Moon, just after Edward leaves Bella. Victoria turns Bella into a vampire. What will the wolf pack say about this? And is there a chance in her years that she will build a relationship with Jacob? Or will Edward come back and ruin everything?
1. Chapter 1

"Edward!" I shouted as loud as hard as my crushing ribs would allow me. The sound echoed through the woods and bounced off the trees and faded into the distance. No. No no no. He cannot leave me. _He doesn't want you anymore! You're not good enough for him Bella._ My subconscious rang out. I internally growled at her, I don't care. I don't care that I'm so plain and he's wonderful. I don't care that he deserves much better than me, I don't even care that he doesn't love me anymore. I just need to see him, just one last time. I felt rain drops on my head and knew it was raining hard for it to be able to come through the heavy canopy above my head. The logical thing to do was go back home before I got lost and get eaten by a bear but nothing was logical when it came to Edward, nothing. It wasn't logical for me to love him and it surely wasn't logical for him to love me, for his family to accept me, to have a some-what normal relationship with him. The only logical thing possible is him leaving me, but I didn't care. I wanted to chase after him, make him come back to me; beg him.

Beneath me my legs picked up speed, I started running in some direction, the direction I thought he vanished in his elegant vampire speed. I fell so many times, my hands and knees were bleeding and I could smell the sickly smell; like pennies and salt, it made me dizzy but it didn't matter to me. Not this time, this time only one thing mattered to me, and it was him and it was finding him. I am not going to let him leave me, the pain of even thinking that was too soul crushing for me. Running was the only thing I could keep doing so I kept running and falling, soon I noticed blood on everything I touched. I should have stopped, maybe what followed wouldn't have happened if I did. But there was no choice, there was no logic behind my impulse to keep running, further and further in the forest. Maybe he'll smell the blood and wonder if I'm hurt. Will he care? Would he turn around to save me again?

Something flashed in front of my eyes and I stopped dead in my tracks as the hairs on the back of my neck rise and I get goosebumps. Another flash, a blur with the same reaction. Was it Edward? Was it his family? Alice even? My stomach clenches and flips and I think I'm going to be sick. Sweat starts beating on my forehead and I wipe it away with a bloody hand, my body feels like it's on fire. I don't understand why my body is feeling like this and I try to think clear, to start moving again but I cannot. I'm pinned in the place I am, sweating, bleeding, breathing heavy. The connection between my brain and body is lost, fear has taken over. But fear for what?

"Edward!" I cried out, exerting the last bit of energy I had. My voice was no more than a whisper, barley audible to my own ears. I hope he'd hear it nonetheless and come back, I was in danger but I don't know from who or what, I just knew it. It was the same feeling when I met James' coven and he was after me, truthfully I have never felt safe since. I seen the blur again, only it was a red blur and it was closer to me, it sounded like almost a hissing noise. I kept calling out to Edward, Emmett, anyone but there was nothing. Nobody was here, nobody could protect me. He wasn't there and he wasn't coming. Nobody was; I'm all alone. It hit me like a ton of bricks, _Edward isn't coming back_. I almost fell with the realization but something catches my fall, come cold and rock hard at the base of my throat, cutting off my breathing. Instinctively my hand flies to my throat, grabbing it and I notice it's a hand, much like Edwards hand. I can see the blood from my hand on it and I take a deep breath and look up. It was her, it was Victoria._  
_

"Victoria." I said flatly, lifelessly. I don't care that she's here to kill me, or worse. For God sake, kill me. Without him I'm better off dead anyway. What's the point to live without the only one worth living for? I no longer felt scared, I almost felt joy. That the pain I just realized within me will be over with. I remember Charlie's face. He'd be better without me, he's done it this far and I'm sure he can continue. There's nothing special about me, and that's what Edward finally realized. Just a stupid human who fell in love with a vampire. I should have seen it coming a mile away, I was never anything to him, just a distraction, something new. A new toy that a child gets tired of after playing with it for too long. This spikes anger in me and a new confidence, it makes me brace. She is staring at me, eyes blazing with hate, mine ablaze with courage, not a hint of fear. Her point is clear without even saying anything, she's here to kill Edward's "mate" because Edward killed her mate, James. What a surprise it'll be when she realizes that I'm no longer with Edward. What will she do then? Go after Edward? Kill me anyway? I could care less.

"Isabella..." Her voice is like a snake, a demon with her lips curling around my name. You could almost taste the venom coming off her lips. She takes a step towards me, her head tilting to one side. "Isabella, Edward isn't here." A smile was playing on her lips. She just thinks I came out here by chance. She probably thinks Edward doesn't know because he wouldn't have left me come out here, unprotected. And she smiles, she obviously don't know that he doesn't care if I'm dead or alive anymore nor does his family. I look at her right in the eyes and smile, a wicked smile, something I have never felt before. I felt almost giddy, nothing she can do will impact me OR Edward. She loses either way, whether she kills me or kills him. Edward already told me that it would be as if he never existed, so if he didn't actually exist...

"I don't care what you do to me Victoria. Neither does Edward and his family. He just left me, I was out here searching for him. There is _nothing_ you could do to me that would hurt him. I'm nothing to him." I actually giggle at this. "Kill me. Go ahead, Edward would never find out and if he did, it's nothing to him. I'm not his mate and I never was. I was just a toy that he got bored of and left me, probably hoping that you were here and that you'd kill me, lifts a burden off him."_  
_

She recoiled as if I had splashed acid on her and I was momentarily stunned too. This is not what she expected, obviously. She wanted Edward to suffer and be hurt the same way she was when he took James away from her. Now she knows he won't care and I smile even bigger. I hope she continues, to kill me anyway. I just don't care anymore, maybe it's just a part of grief that I'm going through, but I'm okay with that. Because it feels better than how I felt a few minutes ago.

"There is one thing he doesn't want, Isabella. Whether you are his or not." She started coming closer to me now, a smile playing on her lips. I was confused, why would he care if anything happened to me? No, she was wrong. "There is one thing, that will burn him and never leave his mind. One thing that he couldn't live with, no." And she stops, inches from my face. Her eyes are glowing red matching her wild hair, her teeth are exposed and she's slightly drooling. "He doesn't want you to become a vampire, Bella."

I inhale sharply; I understand. It would be the ultimate punishment, I would have to live through eternity not with Edward. However, it's only punishment for me. He would never know if I was changed or not. He would assume I would live a normal human life, marry some normal man, have children, grow old and die together. Something he could never give me. I want to tell her that, but I cannot make myself move. Though it is true, and he stated that many of times. He was completely against me coming a vampire, I can't imagine how that opinion would change even if he left me.

I want to closed my eyes but I can't. She's coming closer and closer, inch by inch, her head is leaning towards my neck and I know it'll soon happen. There's no saving me now. Finally, after what seems like forever she lunges at me her teeth go through my flesh as if it was butter. I squeal out in pain. My voice ringing through the woods sounded foreign to me. She doesn't just bite my neck, she bites the other side. She takes both my wrists and clamps her teeth down, my veins flowing with venom and I can feel it, soaring through my veins where she bites. She bites my arms, my legs right through my jeans.

I fall to the muddy ground as I scream, screech and blare. She looks at me one last time, my blood on the corner of her mouth; she looks at me one last time and then is gone like the blur she came in in, gone forever I hope. Just like Edward. I can barely think of him now as I succumb to the pain. After what seems like three lifetimes, I hear beyond my screams a loud huffing noise, like some animal breathing. A bear perhaps? I hope so, I hope it kills me and takes me out of my misery. I'm writhing on the ground, not even able to open my eyes, the pain is too intense. How could I care what it was? I continue my thrashing in the wild pain and I barely notice that I'm being lifted off the ground and carried away, nothing can save me now. Kill me! Kill me! I wanted to shout, but nothing would come out. I have to live forever, forever without him being changed into the same thing he was and I completely resent it and him now. I don't want to become a vampire, I don't want to be anything but left alone. And yet the strange beast is still carrying me, hopefully going to dump me off a cliff.

The thing carrying me feels like it turns into something else, but it has to be me hallucinating. My skin starts to burn, as if it's being lit on fire but in a different way than my blood feels burning inside of me. My skin felt comfortable and somewhere deep inside me started to feel calm, relaxed through the intense pain. Maybe it's God, maybe God has taken pity of me and is trying to ease the pain. Maybe he does exist, maybe he does care for the broken and the hurt and the damned. Maybe I'm dead, maybe she didn't change me, maybe this is just God's version of a joke, to play on me before I'm worthy of going to Heaven. The pain is slowly, very slowly, subsiding and I choose to open my eyes. I can see the world, sort of. It's very blurry, as if the blood vessels have popped in my eyes from the pain, which I wouldn't doubt. I realize that I am being carried, the heat is someone's body heat. And finally, I look up. I look up to see Jacob Black carrying me, looking dead ahead, tears streaming down his face and calling out to a boy name Sam, and I succumb to the pain, the darkness has won and I let go.

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**Emily :)**


	2. Chapter 2

In the darkness there was nothing, nothing to see and nothing to hear, I was punished with my thoughts. I could not open my eyes, I could not use my arms or legs, I couldn't clench my teeth, nothing. I was lifeless, there was nothing I could do but suffocate from the darkness. The only thing I could hang on to was my memories, I had to fight to tooth and nail with the darkness and no way was I letting it win. I didn't care how painful the memories were that I had to think of because it was the only thing that I could hang on to, the only reason I kept fighting with the darkness. I internally gritted my teeth and kept my memories on hand, the faces of people that would want me to fight and hang on. Charlie. My mom. My friends. Even Edward. He would probably, most defiantly be happy if I died; no longer a risk to him, to his family, to myself even. It would be too easy for me to give up and there was no way I could give in to him, I would make myself survive at whatever cost.

It was like a dream, the more I thought about specific places and faces the more the memories disappeared. Honestly, it was like they were pictures that were taken out of focus, and the more I tried to remember the more out of focus they got. I was losing that too. It will only be minutes until the darkness won, until there would be no more Bella, no more of anything for me. Slowly even I started to fade out, I couldn't remember what my face looked like and it was peaceful; if I give up there would be no more pain, no more suffering, no more burning.

_But there would be no you Bella. There would be no life, no happiness. Pain can't last forever. _I don't know where that thought came from but it angered me, angered me enough to want to fight the darkness.

How cruel can this be!? The only thing I have left and the darkness is taking it! It's suffocating and crushing me and yet I can reach out and touch it, I can almost push it off me if I tried. I kept thinking of Charlie, my mom. Of Charlie. Of nothing. Of Jake, who carried me to God knows where. The darkness will not win, it will not take everything from me. There are no more memories, there are no more thoughts. Just me battling the darkness. I try to move it up, and it moves with a struggle. This isn't going to be easy! I push again and I don't even notice the burning, all my strength and effort goes into pushing the darkness away. I can feel it lifting off my feet and my hands, at the same time the burning recedes and moves up my arms, closer to my chest. I groan, it's so hard to lift it, a heavy, cold, dead weight blanket but I don't dare give up. I keep lifting it off my arms and legs and the burning goes away with it. I know I can move them now but I don't dare use any energy; everything I have has to be saved for this, for the battle of my life. I keep pushing, pushing it off my face and I can breathe.

I'm startled me. Not only can I breathe, I can taste what I'm breathing. There is an awful stink, literally like a dirty wet dog; the taste is the same. I can feel my nose crinkle and a disgusting feeling comes to my stomach. Other than the stink, I can even smell the air, believe me it's hard to believe. It does have a smell, like stale clothes and the taste is off and discomforting. I can taste the dust in the air, every speck and ever impurity. I try to hold my breath before it makes me queasy, I can't get over-distracted or the darkness will come crashing down on top of me. The new sense of smell and taste is too new, too overwhelming. I cut off my breathing and holding my breath was uncomfortable, almost like I know I should breathe but it wasn't necessary. I keep my breath held and I concentrated on the darkness.

As my breathing is cut off, my hearing becomes yet another over whelming sense. I can hear voices, many voices but they're not near me. It's like they're a few rooms away from me but I can hear them as if they were right next to me, right in my ear. I recognize one voice; Jacob Black.

"The Cullen's' are gone, they just left! without a shred of evidence that they even existed!" I heard something slam down, like a glass on a wooden table.

"Jake, be calm. I don't think it was the Cullen's' that changed her." A new male voice, one I didn't recognize.

"How can I be calm!? Bella is in that room, tied down, and changing into a vampire and we don't even know why or how or even who!" I tensed my muscles and I could feel some sort of rope that was against my skin. I knew if I flinched I could easily break out of it, but I wouldn't, no strength can be used.

"Jake. Calm, before you turn." The males voice rang clear with authority. Turn? I heard a door open and a swoosh as someone came in letting out a deep howl like a wolf. Strange.

"We got her, the other vamp." This voice sounded younger and very happy. They got who? Victoria?

"Who was she?" The authoritative voice shot out again.

"Dunno and don't care. Red hair, leech-like. Y'know, same old vamp. Not one of the Cullen's though, sadly." Sadly? What?

"Was she the one?"

"I guess so," The speaker takes a bite of something, most likely an apple, "she agreed to changing Bella, almost seemed too happy about it."

"Well, at least you guys got her. Good job. Bella should be waking up anytime, I guess she could even hear us by now."

I couldn't take listening anymore, it was too confusing. I didn't want to think about what I was hearing, I switched off my hearing. I continue pushing and the darkness is starting to give up, it keeps getting easier to push off me. Finally all that's left is my chest and with the last bit of energy, strength and hope I have I push it off and the burn is gone. Everything is silent. It's done and it's over.

I won the battle and I'm changed. I know it, I can feel it in my muscles, all my new senses, even in the way I think. I can think of a few things at the same time and focus on them all. It's like I had two brains, there was just so much more room in my mind. I move my hands down and feel the softness beside me, must be a bed. I can feel the tugging of the ropes and I feel them all the way down my chest, looping over and over. They have to be insane to think that this could possibly hold me.

Wait. What do they even know about vampires? I tried to think back, back to any conversation with Jake. It was a dream, and I just can't piece it together. I knew he talked about the descendants of the wolves and Edward told me stories about Jacob's family. What if he turned? I stop trying, it's useless to bring back memories and I knew once the change was over, so were my memories. I don't dare look yet. I keep running my hands over the so lightly and I can feel every fiber that it was created with. It's too much for me right now, trying to gather strength and courage to open my eyes.

Everything is so quiet. There is no longer voices but I notice that there are footsteps coming towards me. Three sets, one I recognize as Jake's, the other must be the authoritative males and the other could be the younger boy. I'm not sure.

"It's over." A woman gasps from the same place the voices were coming before.

"Jacob! Don't stand too close. We don't know how she's going to react." A that male voice says, with horror in his voice. React? To what?

"Sam, she's still going to be Bella! No matter what okay? She's not going to attack me." Jacob's voice rings out as if they had this conversation a million times. I hear Jacob coming closer and closer, till he's right beside me. I can smell his breath, and he's the one that smells like a wet dog. He needs to shower, that's for sure! I know he's leaning over me, I can sense it. Every hair on my body is standing and I feel so small, so vulnerable.

"Bella, you can open your eyes. It's okay." He puts his hand beside the bed and I can feel the heat from it, I clinch and I hear Jake hold his breath. Does he think I'm going to attack him too!?

"Jake..." I say without opening my eyes and my voice takes me by surprised. It's like the Cullen's voice, so perfect, smooth, like bells. It was so perfect, surly it cannot be my voice...can it?

"Bella," Jake lets out a deep breath, "Open your eyes, it's okay. I know you won't hurt us."

"Bella.." Jake said, his voice was pained. The tears were welling up again and they started to leak

I opened my mouth to say something but he put a hand up.

"Just wait a second, I'll get Billy to explain everything. Stay here. Please." He got up and I could hear him go to another room. I looked around and realized I was laying down on a bed, and I could feel every stitch in the fabric. I looked around and I knew I was in Jacob's house. I sat up, the moment was too fast and I should have got dizzy but I never. I seemed too aware, like every sense I had was in over drive. I could hear the scraping of a wheelchair coming towards me and I looked in the direction it came from. Billy and Jacob appeared, both smiling but both cautious.

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**I changed it a bit, I liked this better than the other!**

**Thanks for reviewing :) :)**

**Much love,**

**Emily.**


	3. Chapter 3

"Hello Bella, let me explain to you what has happened. Okay?" His voice was concerned. He waited for some type of sign for him to continue, his wrinkles were extremely noticeable, especially when he pulled his brows together. I didn't want to speak so I took a chance in nodding.

"Bella, when you went into the woods, there was another vampire. She had red hair and she was a blood drinker, a vampire. I don't know why, but she was after you. She seemed very determined since she had been around before quite a few times and we were notified of her appearance and we didn't know why she kept coming back to Forks. Or why she kept running away if she truly wanted something here. The pack kept doing rounds, chasing her away. She did awful things to you Bella, Sam could smell the blood from here and came to see what was wrong but it was too late..." His voice trailed off, and I was confused.

Too late? I was dead? Why was everyone here then? Is this what heaven is, like a dream where people you cared for explained how you died? If so, where was my mom and Charlie?

"You see, she started to bite you, almost every inch of your body was infected with the poison. I guess she knew we were coming and she didn't want us to be able to save you." I started to catch onto what he was saying, the foggy memories were more clouded but I had my answers at least.

"Bella, do you know what you are?" Jacob asked bluntly, his voice distant, as if he were in a cave and I was outside, hearing the echo.

"A vampire." I said, my voice ringing in my ears with the perfect, like bells. It sounded so beautiful, just like _their_ voice.

Jake nodded, looking sincere, Billy looked at me, a single tear in his eye. I took a deep breath, and I could smell them, I could smell the blood and my throat burned like someone shove a white iron down my throat. I cringed and so did Billy and Jacob, both pressing against each other as if waiting for an attack. I shook my head unclear of what they were doing. Although it smelt off, it still smelled so good. I could see their veins where their blood ran and the pulsing from their hearts. I knew it'd be too easy to lunge at them and kill them instantly, draining their bodies of blood. But I could never do that, they're my friends. I shook that thought out as fast as it came.

"I'm not going to hurt you..." My voice trailed off, sounding like the echo in a tomb. Like my voice was dead too. I looked down, feeling ashamed of what I was thinking. I waited for the heat in my cheeks but it never came. I couldn't blush!

"Why not?" Jacob asked me. "Can't you smell us, the blood?" He almost sounded angry as if I was lieing, and that hurt me. "Don't you want it?" He has his hands clenched into fists.

"Yeah.." I admitted. "It hurts, but you're my friends...Why should I? How could I?" My chest started to hurt, but not with the burning but with the hurt of thinking I could harm them. It was essentially the most absurd thing I have ever herd. How could I live, well exist, with the knowledge that I hurt them? In any way shape or form, I couldn't. I wouldn't.

"But Bella, every instinct you have is telling you to kill us, to drink our blood." Jacob said, still standing in front of Billy. His voice wavered, like he was thinking really hard about something else. His fists started to unball, like he was relaxing even though the edge in his voice was still there.

"No, it just hurts my throat to breathe, to taste the air. So I don't breathe, I don't even need to. Isn't that weird? But the problem is solved, right?" I nodded. That seemed right, even logical.. No air = no pain. Seemed good enough for me so why didn't it seem good enough for them? Jacob moved from Billy, who was looking at me with his mouth wide open. He couldn't, and didn't, try to conceal the shock of my statement.

"Dad..she's still Bella. She's different than everyone else, than every vampire. Dad, that's exactly Bella!" He sprinted towards me and hugged me in a bear vice that should have broken all my bones. That should have knocked me down, but it didn't. I wrapped my arms lightly around him, burring my head in his shoulder.

"Jake.." I mumbled and noticed how different he looked. His hair was cut off, and he was much taller than me and more beefy than before, which seemed odd. His skin was so hot, but it wasn't uncomfortable. It was very nice to feel.

"Jake," Billy started, "Bella might be completely different than every vampire. She may not be possessed with the will of the hunt, to harm humans. But she is a vampire, and she needs to hunt. You go with her, you can tell her about everything. She must be in such pain with thirst and the confusion of everything."

The knowing look they gave each other told me I was in for a lot of surprises. And I wasn't completely sure I wanted to know everything. It felt like to much at once but there was so much room in my head. I just wanted to get the hunt done and over with so everyone would relax a bit more around me regardless of the fact that I proved I wasn't going to eat them.

"Sure sure." Jake sprinted into his room and came back with another set of clothes. I was confused but didn't think about it. There was something else prodding at my brain "Come on Bella, let's go hunt!" He grabbed my hand and I let him pull me until I thought of something and planted my feet solid in the floor which jerked him to a stop that should have at least put his shoulder out of place. I need to know, I needed to know what I was scared to admit.

"What about Charlie? He can't know about this..." I said, pointing to me, making it obvious that he can't know I was a vampire. Tears started to form in Billy's eyes, his voice was hoarse.

"We took care of it Bella..Jake will explain everything." And with that Billy went into a room and closed the door. I was confused, they taken care of it? I knew the only way was to get the hunt over with so all my questions would be answered. I nodded to Jake who still had a firm grip on my hand and we went out the door into the rain. I looked down and noticed I was wearing my old t-shirt and jeans and my old sneakers. It was cold out, I was sure but I didn't feel it. It felt warm which wasn't quite right. I knew I should have on a jacket but I didn't feel cold at all. It went against everything human I knew. But I'm not longer human...so I guess what I know doesn't matter anymore.

"Weird.." I mumbled into the rain, staring up at the sky.

"Huh?" Jacked looked back at me, confused. Probably thinking I was retarded.

"It's cold, or it should be.. But I can't feel it.." I walked towards him, my forehead crumpled with confusion.

"I can't either, It's not a big deal when you get use to it, and it works nicely. Less clothes to drag you down and it's not like you can get sick from it. It works." He smiled and took my hand. We went around his red house and into the forest and when we were out of sight, Jacob stopped.

"Before we go.. I have to tell you something about me, about all of us here, including Billy." He started and I nodded him to go on. "You remember the story I told you when we first met? About the cold ones?" He asked. I tried hard to think, but I couldn't. Every human memory felt like it was underwater, like it was a dream I was trying hard to remember and the harder I tried the more it slipped away. I shook my head, no. I didn't remember.

"Well, I said we were descended from wolves. Which is true. The elder spirit leader had died but his spirit went into a wolf and he took to that creature. That gene was passed down for generations without anyone ever turning into a wolf, until a Cold One came, a vampire. Something within their magic evoked our magic and turned us into a wolf, only the wolf was much bigger than any other wolf. Much stronger. Those who turned shared a bond, they could hear each others thoughts. There was one purpose for us to turn. It was to destroy the cold ones." He sneaked a glance at me and then started walking, me right beside him. "When the vampires are around, our magic starts up and we turn into wolves. It's to protect our land. We killed every vampire that trespassed. Until your vampires came along and swore they were different to the chief which made sense. Their eyes weren't red, they were golden. And they made a treaty. They weren't to come on our land and we weren't going to attack them. They also couldn't bite a human or we'd attack."

I nodded. "And since I'm a vampire..." My voice trailed off obvious to what I meant and he put up his hand and shook his head.

"No, see, the Cullen's were here which made a number of us turn. And the red head came just as they left and then I turned. This has nothing to do with you. But it's not a bad thing, it's nice to be able to be who I am and who I was meant to be. And I can even share this with you Bella! I can show you now. We can be friends, we can be best friends." He smiled a huge, gleaming smile while nudging me. Clearly he was completely comfortable with me now which was good; there was no more secrets for us and for that I was thankful.

"You can phase? Now?" I asked, excited as he nodded. "Come on then, do it!" He smiled and told me to stand back and I did, I took a few steps backward and his body started to tremble as he changed. In his place, stood a huge wolf. As big as a bear, his fur was russet and his eyes were wise. It was the same wolf that picked me up after Victoria attacked me. I looked at him as he started to walk towards me. I put out my hand, wanting to touch his fur. I scratched behind his ear and he let out an attempt at a purr, it was too deep and too strong. More of a rumble. I giggled. It felt so right, so normal. A werewolf and a vampire, going for hunt was normal for me.

"Let's go hunt!" I exclaimed and started to run through the thick bush, my feet barley touching the earth and yet I could see exactly where I was going, I could never hit a tree or anything, they seemed too far away. There was too much time to shift my weight slightly to miss the thick trees. I breathed for the first time since we left Jake's house. I could faintly smell something close to what I wanted, to what I thirsted and followed it. I crept slowly as I could hear a herd of deer near a stream and I lowered myself to the earth, completely focusing onto what I felt, all my senses. I took a leap and crashed onto two deer, cracking their necks at once, killing them with no pain at all. They didn't even see me coming and I took comfort in that. Even thought their animals that were going to have to sustain me I wouldn't be able to make them suffer too.

I could hear the thumping of paws behind me and saw Jake. I pointed to the deer. "That's for you." He exclaimed. I smiled and I walked closer to the deer and put my hand over their eyes so that they could rest and their souls wouldn't be able to see me and what I was about to do, in case they had souls. I smelled the deer that laid in front of me and sunk my teeth into his neck and drank. It didn't taste like I expected. I expected a rusty salty taste but this was different. It tasted sweet and yet had a different taste than how Billy and Jake smelled and I imagined they would taste. But it was nice, the burning in my throat didn't stop but I felt full, sloshy even. I looked up at Jake who also was finished. I got up and looked at Jake who thudded off into the woods but I stayed where I was, confused. I could hear a woosh of air and then out came Jake, in human form doing up the button on his jeans.

I smiled. "That's too cool.." He jogged over to me and we walked on the way out of the forest. But there was something I couldn't get off my mind. There was one person that also came through my thoughts, that made my cold heart clench.

Charlie.

"Jake..What did Billy mean about you guys took care of Charlie?" I asked, studying his face. His face turned pained, like he was remembering a horrible memory.

"He thinks you're dead." And that, knocked the wind out of me.


	4. Chapter 4

The force of emotion that hurdled at me buckled my legs. Dead. He thinks I died...There must have been a funeral. A closed casket, how else? My body certainly wasn't in there. I couldn't help but picture his face, my mom's face and the faint images of my friend's faces as they were at the funeral. Thinking I was gone forever when in fact, I was still living. Well, I still existed. As it shows, there's a very fine line between living and existing.

"Bella..Bella are you okay?" Jake came forward and touched my back and I flinched away from him and took a couple of steps in his opposite direction. Rage was flowing through my body now and I couldn't help but snapping at him.

"Am I okay, Jake? I'm a vampire, I'm essentially dead. My own father and mother thinks I'm dead. How do you deal with that, Jake? What do I do? Enlighten me with your wisdom" I spat. There was a lump in my throat and my lip trembled, I waited for the tears that would never fall though I knew I was crying. I kicked a rock and it went flying through the woods and cut a tree in half which took out two other big trees.

"Bella..." Jake's voice was pleading with a hitch in it as well.

I walked a few more steps and stared up at the sky as if it could give me answers. I need to know everything about this, I need to know what they said happened to me. I need information.

"We need to get back before everyone thinks I killed you." And with that I starting running back to Jake's house, not caring that I was much further ahead of Jake and I put all my strength into running and in less than a minute I was back at the house. Billy, Sam Uley, Harry and Leah Clearwater and a few others were gathered outside Jake's house.

"No, I didn't kill him if that's what you were thinking. He'll be here in a minute, I just left before him. And yes, I did "eat"." I snarled, my anger was now rippling through my body.

"Bella!" I herd Jake call out behind me and I wouldn't turn to look at him, I was walking towards Billy and his expression changed to wary. A part of me was happy he wasn't scared of me.

"What did you tell my father?" I almost hissed as Billy shrunk back in his chair.

"Bella, you have to reason here. He couldn't see you, not as a vampire or he'd have to either be killed or become one as well. And you don't want that do you?" His voice was stern, not scared of me at all. I shook my head, no I didn't want that.

"We staged an accident in your truck and got a body from a nearby grave that would have been around your age and female that has recently died. We burned the body beyond recognition and Charlie didn't want an autopsy which was very fortunate. It was a beautiful ceremony Bella, a lot of people showed up. You were very well liked; more than you knew. Don't you think it's better for Charlie to think that you're up in heaven than never being able to see you? There would have been too many questions if you just went as a missing person, and Charlie would be tormented trying to find you and that would not be possible. You'd have to keep on the run until he died, and after he died because he would still fight from the grave to find you. This gives him and your mother peace in mind. It's the best for them and it's best for you."

"Yes, I'm sorry." I lowered my head, slumping my shoulders. I should have thought it better but the anger was just so raw and intense that there was no sense beyond the rage. But I would rather Charlie think I was with Gran than travelling the world essentially dead, with no heartbeat, living off animal blood.

"Bella I'm sorry, I should have told you when you woke up..." Jake came over to me and slumped an arm around my shoulder. His presence was enough to calm me, just his touch and his warmth went right through my body and it was amazing the power he had over me. I looked at him, and he was very handsome. His russet skin and perfect teeth, his caring eyes. I never wanted to him to leave me, but I had no idea how to tell him. He has family here, he has to go to school. He can have a life here but I can't. I'm not his responsibility, but I wish I was. How can it be that only a few days ago Edward left me, the heartbreak was still too raw to talk about, and I'm starting to get a little crush on Jake? I shook the thought from my head, no no no.

I can't stay here, I can't be walking around when I'm suppose to be dead, when everyone is suppose to think I'm dead. But Jake can't come with me, he has Billy, he has a perfect life here without me interfering. I'm not going to upset him or Billy by asking him to come with me. I have to do this on my own, I've already hurt enough people, endangered enough people.

"Bella, I-" I put my hand up to cut Jake off. I herd a car turn onto the dirt road, quite far away actually. What if it was someone not from the pack? It'd kinda be hard to explain why I'm up walking around when my "body" was burned beyond recognition.

"Someone's coming, I have to go" I whispered even though I knew whoever it was coming wouldn't be able to hear me. I flew off into the woods, just far enough that I could still see exactly who it was and what was going on; what the conversation was about. Jake was running as fast as he could over to me and we both half sat down behind a giant tree. Slowly, I found, the car was coming. Finally it came into view and I immediately knew who it was.

It was Charlie. It was my dad. And he's here. Now.


	5. Chapter 5

I hold my breath, this time not because of the scent but because I can see my father and it's unsettling. This pain feels worth than when I was burning, it's more suffocating than the darkness. The anguish comes over me, such a strong emotion that I never knew existed. He climbs out of the police cruiser and I can tell he lost weight, a lot of weight. My stomach clenches, it's my fault. He probably hasn't eaten, probably hasn't even slept. What if he blamed himself? I can see Billy's face crumple as he sees Charlie and a few of the people standing outside went inside, they couldn't bear seeing Charlie like this and neither could I and yet I couldn't take my eyes off him as much as I wanted to. I wish Jake would cover my eyes like I was a child watching a movie and part came up that I shouldn't be seeing; and that's exactly how I felt. I felt like a child, completely powerless! I shouldn't be watching this but I can't take my eyes off it. I have to see what's happening, I need to see my father for the last time.

"Hello Charlie." Billy says, his voice so full of emotion it breaks my dead heart even more.

"Hi Billy." Charlie said, his voice so low even I had to strain to make sure I herd every word. He cleared his throat and wiped his eyes, clearly he has been and was still crying. That's it, I couldn't look anymore. I slumped my head down and Jake put his arm around me as I continued to listen. The only comfort I had was Jake's warmth and I moved closer into Jake's hold and he tightened his grip.

"How are you doing Charlie?" Billy asked, and I could hear Billy's wheelchair moving, probably closer to Charlie. To try to give his old friend some comfort during such a hard time, the hardest time in his life.

"Not good, Billy. It's not getting any easier, I don't think it ever will." Charlie cleared his throat. "Where's Jake? I got something for him."

"Oh he just went for a walk, I'm sure he'll be back any minute." I could feel Jake's arm slipping off me and I wanted to beg him to stay here but I couldn't find my voice. I stayed perfectly still. I could hear Jake's footsteps going further away and I realized how much I needed him.

"Hi Charlie." Jake said, his voice low as well, filled with so much emotion. This was unreal, they're all so upset over my death and I know I'm not dead, and so does everyone here except for Charlie.

"Jake, I went in Bella's room and I found a gift you gave her and I think you should have it." He sniff and cleared his voice yet again.

"Charlie..." Jake's voice was so pained, it literally pinned me to the wet Earth. "Charlie, I can't."

"Please," Charlie's voice was pleading, "she would want you to have it." His voice sounded like a young child, so pained, the emotion so raw.

"Thank you." Said Billy, his voice was hoarse, I knew he was on the verge of tears as well, seeing his best friend hurt beyond belief.

"You know though, even though I've been at her funeral and it's all over it still doesn't feel like she's gone...It feels like she's still on the Earth. It just doesn't seem real." And Charlie started to cry, the hurt it brought me was over whelming. I felt like a horrid monster. I wanted nothing else than to jump out and hug him. Tell him I was still alive, in a sense, and apologize. I wanted to comfort him, to end his pain. But by doing that the effects it'd have on him would be too much, he'd have to change or be killed. No, I wouldn't subject him to that. Time will heal his pain, he has many friends to help him, him and my mom.

"I know Charlie, it feels like that for me too. But she's in a better place now, looking over you and wanting you to be happy and be strong. She loved you very much and she spent her last year with you. Take comfort in that." Billy's wise words even gave me strength!

"Yeah...I'm going to miss her." Charlie cleared his throat once again and I could tell he was done crying, for now. "Thanks Billy, and thanks Jake for being her friend. She thought a lot of the both of you."

"Come back anytime Charlie, we'll always be here for you." Jake said, it sounded like he was choked up too. I herd Charlie move towards his cruiser, get in and close the door. And in a few minutes I knew he was gone and it was safe to come out but still I couldn't move. The grief I caused...I knew I couldn't stay in Forks anymore, I had to leave. I had to leave this life behind me; I don't know what sounds harder, leaving my life or leaving Jake. For some reason it's like Jake's the only person I have and I don't want to loose him, ever.

"Bella, you can come out now." Jake said and I got up and it felt like I was floating towards them as if my body had been disconnected from my mind. Jake took me in his arms and squeezed me tightly and I hugged back maybe a little too tight, but I didn't want to let him go. He is such a good, friendly person that never doubted me, not once since I was changed. He always had faith in me and I want to do anything to make him happy, he means everything to me now.

"Thank you, the both of you. You'll help Charlie a lot." My perfect voice cracked, wanting to release tears but knowing it'd never happen.

"Bella, we both know you can't stay in Forks. There's no way you can have a good life when all you can do is hide." Billy was always right, there was no way I could stay here. I'd be locked like an animal in a cage, I could never go out or even hunt in peace. I had to leave and I had to leave soon. It was the only way for everyone to heal, to move on from such a disaster. Even then I could move on, or forget. Which ever came first.

"I know, I'm going to miss you both so much!" I put my head in my hands, not daring to look at them.

"Bella, sorry to ruin your plans..." Jake's voice trailed off and I looked at him. He was running his hand through his hair and shifting his weight, clearly uncomfortable with what he was going to say. I waited for him to finish, almost impatient. "I'm coming with you." I swear my jaw could have hit the floor. One side of me was jumping for joy, that Jake was coming where ever with me and I wasn't going to be alone. However, I knew it was wrong. He can't leave Billy, his life, behind just because of me. To follow me where ever I had to go, it wasn't fair to him.

"No Jake, I don't expect you to come with me. You can't leave Billy, you still have to go to school, you have your whole life here Jake." My voice was low, but it was true. "I could never ask you to do that for me."

"Bella, he isn't asking to go with you. And I'll be fine, I always have a house full of people and this is what Jake wants. He said that after he brought you here that he was never leaving your side. You need help Bella, you can't do this all on your own, you need a friend. We all want Jake to go with you."

"See Bella? There's nothing you can say, I'm going with you and that's that. In all honestly, everything's packed for us and you mean too much to me to let you go by yourself. Then it'd be like you really were...No, not going to let that happen!. We can leave whenever you want to." Jake's voice was so matter-of-fact that I felt like I was glowing! I hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek. It was always easy with Jake, he was such a good friend.

"Thank you." I whispered in his ear and I could feel him smile. I let go and I turned to Billy and thanked him too.

"Bella, no matter if you're a vampire you'll always be welcomed here. You're still just Isabella to all of us, you're part of the family. And I hope you and Jake find peace with each other, I'm so happy for the both of you. You'll do just fine." He nodded and hugged us both and went inside.

"So, when do you want to leave?" Jake asked taking my hand and lacing his fingers with mine. I wanted to hold his hand so tightly so he could never let go but I was too scared I'd break it.

"I think the sooner the better..." He nodded in agreement and the others were coming out, obvious that they were listening. Every one said their goodbyes and there was a lot of tears and a lot of mush. Everyone hugged me, it seemed they all agreed I wasn't a threat to them either. It was nice not to be treated differently than everyone else. I thanked them all and after it was all said and done, they all went their separate ways and it was just me and Jake outside. We both went back into the house and there were two suitcases, one for me and one for Jake. I opened mine and some of my old clothes were in there, along with a lot of new editions. It made me realize how good some people can be, to go out of their way to help someone so different from them, someone they didn't even know.

"Emily, Sam's fiance, done all this." He waved at the suitcases. I was speechless, there was nothing I could say that could do justice to what I was feeling. He grabbed a suitcase and told me to follow him, I grabbed mine too expecting it to be heavy but it felt like I wasn't even carrying anything. It was amazing to know how strong I am now, at least physically. Emotionally I'm a disaster. All considering, in the past three days I lost the love of my life, turned into a vampire, learnt about my funeral, learnt that I didn't care for human blood, seen my devastated father and now leaving Forks and my old life behind, I'm doing pretty good. We walked out the front door and I followed Jake into the garage.

" You finished your car!" I exclaimed. That's all he talked about when he was over, was his car. This was his project and he completed it and it made me feel so good to know that he did.

"Yeah, it's not much but it's my baby." He patted the hood then opened back door and put both the suitcases in. I noticed the windows were tinted too, it looked so cool. Not at all like I have thought. If I could blush I would have.

"The windows look good tinted." I said, looking it over nodding my head.

"Yeah, we got that done while you were...yeah. Y'know, in case if there was any sunlight; can't imagine that would be good." He blushed and climbed in the driver seat. I walked around and climbed in next to him. We sat in silence and finally he started the engine and backed out slowly. Billy was at the door, waving and we waved back. I was just so happy Jake was here next to me. He took my hand and held it tightly but there was one thing I had to do before I left.

"Jake...Can we make a stop? There is one place I want to visit before we disappear..."

"Where to?"

"The cemetery...I want to see my grave."


	6. Chapter 6

It was dark, darker than usual as we pulled up to the cemetery. I looked at the clock and it was one in the morning, surely nobody would be here at this time I hope. We got out of the car and walked along trail, muddy from the constant downpour that will always cover Forks. The cold or rain didn't bother me at all, nor did it seem to bother Jake. Jake took my hand and I took a deep breath, the air was unpleasant to say the least. The smell of rotting corps burned my nose and I stopped breathing. Not exactly something I wanted to remember, that smell. Jake lead me through the graves until we stopped a few feet away from the one at the very end in the corner, a fresh grave that the grass hasn't covered yet. There were two little lights on the end of the headstone and it was covered in flowers in all different colors as was the grave. It was so gorgeous yet depressing. There was a teddy bear that had a big red heart in the middle of it that looked so hopeful; I knew this was mine.

Jake let my hand go and I walked closer, the headstone was marble and was beautiful.

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_September 13, 1987 - September 16, 2005_

_May she be resting in peace for all eternity_

The words struck me, "for all eternity". If they only knew! If they only knew how appropriate this was; if they only knew it was eternity I'm stuck in.

"It was a big service, everybody was devastated. I'd say everybody from Forks was at the funeral Bella, along with everyone from the reservation. In some way I wish you could have seen how much you were loved by everyone, you never did see yourself clearly. You're so beautiful and honest, such a good person Bella, and you always will be. Just because your body has changed doesn't mean you did, you're still Bella." Jake's voice was so powerful and pure, not a hint of a lie. I always thought of myself to be average, under-average honestly. There was never anything special about me, I wasn't good at sports, I wasn't musical, nothing. I was just me. But now... Now I'm a new person, a stronger person in one way and a weaker person in another way. I can start over and I can become anything I wanted to be, everything I've dreamed of. I have all the time in the world and I get to spend it with Jake. This let a fire inside me that I much needed, it gave me the strength to move forward, Jake gives me that strength. If it wasn't for him, I don't know what I would have become or what would have happened to me.

I looked at Jake's face and his expression was serene, he's a spectacular person. The best mechanic, friend, brother, son, person. And he's coming with me so I don't have to be alone. I wish there was a way I could thank him but there are no words, no gifts that would do it justice. I nodded at his statement and walked back to him, grasping his hand.

"Jake, you look tired." As soon as I said that he yawned and I waited to yawn, but it never came. I didn't feel tired as I would have if I was still human. I didn't need sleep, I didn't need much. Only blood. I shook that thought out of my head and we started walking back to the car.

"Jake, I'll drive and you sleep, ok?"

"You sure Bella?" He yawned again and rubbed his eyes. "Yeah, that might be a good idea." I giggled and nodded my head. I climbed into the driver seat and sat for a few minutes. Already Jake was sound asleep. I kept staring at him, noticing everything about him, his breathing, his features. Jake was extremely handsome. His black hair, his russet skin, his gorgeous smile, his warming eyes. Everything about him was perfect and I put the car in drive and started towards my goal. I just had one more place to go that I didn't want to tell Jake. I was going home for the last time.

I didn't pay attention to my driving, it was too simple. If anything were to happen it would be only too easy to move, it seemed silly to even pay attention. A slight turn of the wheel, seconds to spare, it made accidents look ridiculous. So easy to avoid. I just stared out the window, thankful there were no other drivers. I wouldn't know what to do if someone was around, even through the tinted windows I felt so exposed. But everyone was in bed, sleeping, getting ready for the next day of school, another day of work, another day of normal. They were completely unaware that I was driving down my old road and stopping in front of my old house. It still looked the exact same, only my truck wasn't there. Driving by you would never be able to guess that Charlie's daughter was attacked in the woods behind his house and turned into a vampire who is now escaping the town, the country. I cut the engine and looked at Jake, he was still asleep. I sat for God knows how long, building the courage to do this, finally I carefully opened my door and shut it and looked up at my bedroom window. It was completely dark and I knew I couldn't go through the front door . How else was I suppose to get in? A memory flew past me and almost made me crumple.

Edward. Edward use to sneak into my room by climbing the tree and going in the window. He done it for months without me even knowing, without me even stirring. That's what I'll have to do. I jumped and almost let out a scream, I was at the top of the tree in one jump! I know it shouldn't have startled me but it did, the power that I have now is just so new. I haven't got use to it yet. That was probably the coolest thing I've done, and the tree didn't even move as if I wasn't even on it. I walked further out on the limb until I could reach the window. I looked in, and there was somebody in my bed, snoring. They rolled over and I could see, wrapped up in my blankets was Charlie, a picture of me clutched in his hands next to his chest. I opened the window and lightly stepped inside. He didn't stir so I continued on my mission. I had a stash of money from when I was working and my college funds. It would be enough to get us far away, far away from here. I stepped closer to Charlie, it was obvious he was crying a lot before he went to bed, there was a box of tissues next to the bed and quite a few in the waste basket. I took out my old note pad on and I grabbed a pen.

_I'm okay, Dad. Stay happy, I'm watching over you. I love you, see you in Heaven._

I knew I shouldn't have left that, but I had to. It was the only peace of mind I could give him and myself. He'd just think I was a ghost, coming back to leave my last words. His thoughts would be far from the fact that I'm a vampire and on the run with Jake. I went back out the window and left it slightly open, perhaps he'd take it as a sign my soul is let go, is at rest. It is at rest, I can leave now feeling much better. My dad is going to get through this, it may take awhile but it will for the both of us. Time heals everything, and the only thing I have is time. I got back into Jake's car, being careful not to wake him up. He was snoring lightly and I started driving, far in the distance, to our new lives leaving this place behind us both.

I started driving north, towards Canada. Vancouver seems like a good place to go through, it was similar to Forks. Always raining, little sunlight. It took about three hours until we were on Canada soil. I had a place in mind, Yellowknife. I remember reading about it, it was usually very cold and never had much sunlight. The cold wouldn't bother me or Jake and the fact there wasn't much sunlight made it even more appealing. I looked at the map and it would only take a little over a day to drive there. I kept driving through Canada and it was much like Forks, green with gorgeous mountains. Around noon I was halfway there and Jake started to wake up.

"Good morning, er, afternoon Jake." I said smiling at him.

"Sorry," Jake said, wiping a little bit of drool off his mouth. "Not good company. Are you tired? Want to switch? Bella, where are we going?"

"No worries," I laughed, "You're perfect company. Your snoring is amusing. And we are heading to Yellowknife."

"Really? Cool. Sorry about the snoring." He smiled at me and reached in the back for some water and took a big swig. "This is so cool Bella, really. Two of us, the world ahead of us. We can go everywhere! We have all the time in world!" He lifted his hands up in such a carefree way but it saddened me. We don't have forever, Jake's going to get old. I have never thought about that before, I'm never going to age but Jake will. There will be a time when old age will come across him and he'll die, leaving me.

"Jake, I can live forever, but you're going to get old." My face was serious. I internally kicked myself for never thinking of this before.

"Bella, the pack doesn't age." He was smirking at me as if I was suppose to know this.

"What?" I exclaimed, stunned.

"Our magic doesn't let us age until we decide to stop phasing. Then we'll start to age, until then we're froze at the age we phased into it just like you're frozen at your age." He said grinning his huge, warming smile at me. "So I won't stop phasing, which I can't see how anyone could stop either."

"Shut up! You're going to be around for awhile!?" There was no way I could hide my feelings now. The thought of Jake leaving me was unbearable. It could never happen, I wouldn't let him.

"As long as you are around, I'll be right here." He said seriously which almost made my ice heart melt.

"Jake, please don't leave me..." He put his hand up to stop me.

"I can imagine how hurt you were when Edward left and now you're thrown into a different life. But Bella, I'm not him. I'm coming because I don't want to be without you. When I found you I didn't know what was happening to you, I thought that vamp killed you and I thought I lost you forever. I'll never leave you, I promise." And he took my hand and kissed it; it felt like my insides were filled with pretty butterflies. I pulled off to the shoulder and undid my seat belt, I leaned over towards Jake and he put his two hands on each side of my face and pulled me close, barley touching and he kissed me. It was so different than how Edward kissed me. Jake poured everything into this kiss, his lips crushing mine. I could feel his hot breath on my face and I didn't want to move. He kissed me again and again and I kissed back. I started to pull away and he slowly let me go, only a few inches away.

"Bella, I promise not to leave you. Ever." That was all I needed to hear, I knew he couldn't leave me and I knew I could never leave him. He patched up my life, he became my life.

* * *

**How am I doing so far?**

**Please review! It helps me a lot and gives me a reason to keep writing. **

**Any input is amazing! Anything y'all wanna hear or want to happen? I'll try my best!**

**Honestly, I have no idea how the story goes until it's written!**

**Thanks so much, **

**Much love!**

**Emily**


	7. Chapter 7

It has been over three hundred years since I was changed, since Jake and myself ran away together. Though three hundred years should seem so very long but it doesn't. It seems like as fast as I blink a hundred years is gone. It felt like only months ago I was back at Forks with my dad when everything was so normal, I was still a human. Every day it pains me to know what I have done but time does heal all wounds. Everybody I know has died, even their grandchildren have died. The only person that I truly know is Jake and honestly that's the only person I need to know.

In the time we have traveled to most, if not all, parts of the world, there is no way that I could explain the things we saw. It felt like I was growing, mentally at least. My eyes were opened to all the true beauty of the world, to every different type of person or culture. It was fantastic, it was like a gift that could never be taken away. Everything else can be; possessions, life, humanity can be taken but memories cannot. Memories are with you until you stop existing. Before I was changed I never traveled all that much and to see the entire world was incredible. Going to the Arctic and not being able to feel the extreme cold, going to the secluded hot climates where Jake and myself could play freely and watch myself sparkle. To roam the streets in Rome, to see the Eiffel Tower, to witness a winter in Russia, to go through Canada...Words can not do this justice.

During the places we went, we studied and worked. We both are fluent in every language and are probably among the smartest in the world. We studied every subject, almost every profession and excelled in it. I would go so far as to say that there isn't much that we haven't learnt whether it was in school or just through our journeys. With so much time to study, there is nothing off limits. I don't even need to sleep and in that time I read, study or work. Because we were both working the income was high, especially where we didn't need much to survive. We really didn't need food, water, etc as normal humans do but we aren't normal human. We have many many bank accounts with our money in it, most in fake names. Though it's very good to have it, it's not such a big deal. It's all just stuff, it can be taken away or given so freely. It amazes me that so many people work so hard to make it and then die before even getting to enjoy it. It saddens me how short the human life can be taken and taken advantage of.

Besides the travel, the knowledge and the money there was something that was even more valuable to me. It was Jake. Our relationship was like a fairy tale, there were no fights at all, he'd pick at me and I'd pick at him. We protected and looked out for each other, I was completely in love with him. He was completely in love with me too. I know that no matter where I went he would follow me without hesitation or questions. It felt so good to be loved unconditionally without fear or judgement. I fell in love once, a long long time ago but it was nothing like this. That love was so strained it was like a punishment, something that I hated; it was there ever could be was pain and fear, fear he'd lose control, pain from him being around me. So many possibilities. However, every now and then I go back to those times and I just can't help it, maybe your first love will always be with you. Honestly, I couldn't help it. It's like my mind has a way of its own, it just goes back there without needing any reminder or trigger. I still vividly remember his face, his family. I do miss them, I wondered time to time what he was doing, what his family was doing. What would they say if they knew what happened to me? Would we ever run across each other? I highly doubt it. We have been all over the world and there wasn't a hint of any other vampire, let alone specific vampires. As the thoughts flow through my brain I let them go, I have a new life now.

But no matter where we go, there's no place like home. I always wanted to go back and recently it feels like I need to go back. I wondered what Jake would say to it. Does he just want to leave that place behind, a bad memory? Does he want to go back, to see the pack and be where he grew up? I have no idea what he wants, I don't know how he'd react to me telling him that I wanted to go back. I don't want to cause him any pain in by going back but I know deep, deep down that I have to. It's a compelling urge, nothing I can control. And if he doesn't want to go back, I will, if only for a visit. If only to see why it's been bugging me and on my mind so hardcore lately.

"Back Bella!" Jacob sang out. We were on in island far from the coast of Rio so that tourists or travelers wouldn't happen to stumble upon this island that we deemed ours. "Happy three-hundred year anniversary!" Jacob said kissing my cheek, his voice gleaming. He hasn't changed physically at all but mentally he was different. Older, wiser, more caring, move loving but he was still my Jake. However, for the past few years there was something gnawing at him and I wondered if it was the same thing that was gnawing at me. I had no way to tell, I just knew we had to go back to Forks.

"Jake, I need to talk to you..." My voice trailed off, my head lowered playing with my hands. Jake put a finger under my chin and raised my head up. He kissed me lightly and pulled away, his finger still under my chin. His expression was worried and it made me even more nervous to tell him, to even try to explain this.

"What is it? What's wrong?" His voice was so soft it relaxed me as he always does; it made me even more willing to tell him.

"There's just been something gnawing at me, something that I feel like I'm suppose to do." He nodded, wanting me to go on. "Jake, I kind of want to go back to Forks, I really do miss it there. Besides, you know how happy we both were when we were interacting with people, going to school. I want that again and I really want to go back to Forks." He let out a deep breath and a huge grin.

"Thank God Bella! I wanna go back too, real bad." Jake's eyes lit up and I tackled him, pinning him to the ground, kissing him all over.

"Really!?" I asked between kisses. "Oh Jake. When do you want to go back?"

"Well, I'd say if we left now we'd be there by mid-day tomorrow." Jake said. "And it's not too late in the year, we only missed a month. We can enroll and go through high school, live there for a couple of years. It'd be nice to see the pack again."

"Alright! Let's go then!" There was no way I could hide the excitement and I almost felt like something has been awoken in me, something that I had no idea was still alive. It felt like it was beyond me, that I HAD to go back, not just because I wanted to, but because I had to. If I had any idea what was waiting for me, I don't know if I still would have left...


	8. Chapter 8

**EDWARDPOV**

It has been over three hundred years ago since I left her. Thinking her name was unbearable for me, even as a vampire that was hard as stone it felt as if a hole has been ripped through my body, leaving me empty and desolate. I could not think of the name, even of the face. If I did, I would slip into what I was before, a zombie. Going around mindless, not talking, barley eating. I could not slip back into that, it would ruin me and my family. Even though it has been three hundred years since I left her, it has been a little under fifty years or so that I have came back to my family. Time passes by so quickly as a vampire that you loose track of time. I didn't realize how long I was gone, or how long it has been until recently.

Currently, we're staying with the Denali clan up in Alaska where no humans are near by. No reminders of what I left behind, no reason for us to hide what we are or to endanger anyone, even if we have chose a different lifestyle. It's perfect for us, we don't want to have to hide; it reminded me of Forks; everything reminded me of Forks. I longed to go back, to start over there again. It was peaceful, and it was safe. The memories would bring me dangerously close to the edge, but it was worth it. But she must have married, had kids and defiantly moved away; and now she's dead. So long gone that there would be no reminder of her anywhere, except maybe a headstone and bones in Forks if she even chose to stay there. Nothing to hold onto. The way it's suppose to be, it's . Protecting her from me and my world was the right thing to do. She deserved a happy human life. Her and her husband, growing old together, sitting on the front porch, watching their grandchildren grow a little more, become wiser. It felt so right to assume she had a good life. A full life.

I was by myself, running about in the snow, my feet barley touching it. Living as I am with my family and the Denali, I still liked to have my moments alone, sometimes hours or even an occasional day or two. Sometimes, I'd replay me leaving her for torture, not knowing the serious damage it was causing. I don't know what hurt more, that I left her or that she believed me so easily! I thought she'd put up a fight, not believe what I meant or seen through my facade. But she believed it. I could see it, in her eyes. The confirmation killed me, ripped through to my dead and cold heart. She was, and is, and always will be the love of my existence. There is nobody for me now that she has left this life.

I circled around going back towards our house that we resided in. I have decided that we must go back to Forks, that it's time. Everyone was anxious to go back, we all loved it there. We could act like we belonged with the humans, that we were a part of their lives, their world. We were not though. Sometimes it was hard, we liked to exist with them but not become a part of their lives as it was too risky, they'd notice things about us, notice we weren't human. Then they'd either have to die or we'd have to move. And never be seen again until it was safe to return. It was too risky, and that's where I faltered. My internal blabbering was interrupted by Alice.

_We're going back? _Alice's mental voice asked, and I nodded and I blew past her. She turned, her spiky hair was covered in snow and her face vacant, looking into the future. I could see what she was seeing, our family back in our old house laughing, being completely carefree.

"Yes. It's time." I replied as we both took off for the house that was now in our eye sight.

_Are you sure you're okay with this, I mean, with going back? _Alice asked, obviously worried about me. Sometimes, on a good day, I felt even worse for treating them all so bad than how I normally felt. I wasn't really living with them, more like my body was. My mind certainly wasn't attached. I usually spent time away from them, as far as I could in this place. I wasn't their son or their brother, I wasn't completely home, if you would. I was nobody and I knew it hurt them. Now as I came into the house I noticed their pain better than ever; nobody even looked up when I entered anymore. They all knew I wanted space and they always filtered their minds, it was an unspoken rule that nobody was to ever mention her name or anything about her. I stood in the door step, waiting for Alice to catch up and when she did, she was beaming. She clearly knew, or saw, that things were going to change and they were. They were going to be better, I was starting to thaw from my frozen depression stage.

_Welcome back_. She nudged me, her little face perky as ever. Oh, how I missed that. I smiled, my first smile in three hundred years.

"Thanks." I replied to her, smiling. And at that, everyone's head snapped up. I felt uneasy with talking. I thought that my voice would give away my pain, give away my unsteadiness. But they clearly knew what I was going through, they saw right through me. But I guess the real reason I didn't talk, is because the last time I did it ended horribly. I regret every word, every minute, every second. That's the real reason I stopped talking. This enlightenment broke whatever heart I had that was left untouched, my family needed me and I needed them.

_Edward?_ Carlisle asked, coming towards me with his arms wide open. I smiled, letting him know I was back. Yes, I am now as long as we go to Forks.

"We have to go back." I said, to all of them. They all had confused looks on their face, obviously not knowing what I meant. Only Alice and myself knew.

"Back to Forks." Alice answered their questioned looks. Everyone had on different faces. Carlisle was worried, Esme was pleased, Emmet was gleaming (he missed the bears), Rosalie was relaxed and Alice was ecstatic. Me, I was sick. I was half nervous that the thoughts of her would be overwhelming. But we all needed to go back, that was the best home we ever had and even though nobody thought I was listening, I knew they all missed Forks. But nobody would bring it up, that was the golden rule. Nobody mentioned what had happened. Ever. It would be too much to handle. Everyone missed her, everyone. Including Rosalie even though she didn't like her, at all. Everyone was torn from the absence that human girl, from what I had to do to protect her. Their pain mirrored mine and I knew I was being selfish when I went away for so long, taking my pain with me. I thought it would be easier for us all if I wasn't around, maybe it was; I'll never know.

Everyone packed in minutes and within an hour we were all out the door, saying brief goodbyes to the Denali. We decided to run the way instead of drive, it would take too long and we were all too anxious to go back. We were going to move back into our house and considering we still had a few vehicles in the garage, it would be too easy to fit back to what was normal. Well, normal before her...And I would try, I would try to be Edward again, to not hurt my mother or father, sisters or brothers. I would be on my best behavior, things would be easier now. I had a good feeling about this.

"We could start school again. School starts next week and all we have to do is fill out the papers. It'll be more than easy." Rosalie said, smiling vividly.

"You're right." I said, "Easy."

She was right though, even as I was bitter about it being easy. Hah! Easy. Nothing was easy, though this felt good, it felt so right. The closer I got, the more vivid the memories. The more I missed her, the more I wanted her. But she was gone, and I'd have to accept that. I did accept that. Bella. I struggled with the name. Bella is dead now. Isabella Marie Swan is gone. Saying it made me more aware of the hurt, but it also brought a little bit of healing. I smiled. I knew it was worth it, I need to move on. Never forget, no, never. But to be able to live with my family as best I could. They deserved it. Within hours we were back to familiar Forks, and walking up our familiar porch and into our familiar house, back into our familiar lives.


	9. Chapter 9

**EDWARDPOV**

Today was the first day of school and it went like any other, there wasn't anything different. It was only too easy to tell who was descended from who, who Mike's great-great-great-grandson was. The school still looked exactly the same, the same classrooms, the same subjects, the same colors, the same mascot. Everything about it was the same. I even had the same schedule that I had when I started here, three hundred years ago. The only thing different was Bella wasn't there, even though I knew she wouldn't be here it still hurt. The memories were overwhelming, every time I turned around, I swear I could still see her, almost smell her. Maybe it was a mistake coming back here, maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was. Maybe all the wounds were too fresh, the hurt too real. Nothing, not even time, could heal me. I kept replaying the first time I ever seen her, how mad I was that I couldn't read her thoughts, or the time in Biology that I wanted to kill her and everyone else in that classroom. I couldn't believe how good her blood smelled to me, it was unlike anything I've ever experienced. I couldn't even be around her, I left. I went back to Alaska because she scared me, she was threatening to take my life away... But I came back, she awoken something in me. She made me feel more alive than anything. I wanted her, I needed her. I loved her, she was the meaning of my existence. I put her in so much danger, I hurt her. Her face when I left... But she got to heal, she fell in love again, a better love than I could have gave her. That has to be the only thing to be keeping me together all these years, that she eventually was happy.

I was driving back home, Alice and Jasper in the car with me. I wasn't paying attention to them or the road, I was just lost in my thoughts. Hanging onto every memory, the memory of driving down this road so long ago, the memory of the first time she came to the house. Every memory I had here featured her in it, even though I had so many before she arrived. But she over powered them, she over powered me. I turned into our driveway and parked out by the house. Everyone got out but I stayed inside, thinking, savoring. There's something I need to do... There was somewhere I needed to go.

_Be safe Edward _Alice already seen what I decided and where I was going. I slightly nodded in her direction so only she would see it. Alice and Jasper went into the house, shutting the door silently behind them. I let out a deep breath trying to build some courage, to face what I needed to face. The only closure I could get. I started driving down the road back into town, the rain was heavier now, almost slushy. Surely it can't be that cold? I kept my eyes open because I've never been to the cemetery before, there wasn't a need. I wasn't even a hundred percent sure where it was, it was easier to follow my nose than the road. I opened the window a tiny bit and kept breathing to see if I could get a hint of where it was. I know I shouldn't be there but I want to see, just in case Bella stayed here, I want to see if she was buried here next to her husband. I almost needed to know who she married, who turned out to be. After this I knew I had to go to the archives, to get any newspapers to see what went on while she was living.

I seen the sign and smelt the rotting flesh, and turned onto the dirt road, parking far away as I could. I didn't want to risk anyone seeing me, it would be too hard to explain. Inside I felt so little, so scared, for the first time in a long time I had no idea what I was going to see. I don't know if her body was there, I don't know what happened to her. I got out of my car, leaving it on. I wouldn't be staying long, that I was sure of. I started looking through all the headstones, I came across many people that went to school there but I didn't see Bella's. I came across Charlies but still, Bella wasn't to be found. I was about to give up until I was at the back, most of my hope gone that she must have left until I came across it. I seen her headstone, so far away from the others. Why?

_Isabella Marie Swan_

_September 13, 1987 - September 16, 2005_

_May she be resting in peace for all eternity_

I stopped moving, stopped breathing. I felt my knees buckle beneath me and I fell on the wet grass with my head in my hands. She died a few days after I left her! How? Why? What caused it? No. It couldn't be... I understood why her headstone was so far away, hers was the oldest in that time, she died before everyone else. While I thought she was out living she has been dead. She didn't grow up happy, she didn't marry or even become happy. Her last memories were the pain that I caused, her memories were of me leaving her. I got up, almost feeling sick and ran back to my car and flew out of the cemetery, almost seeing red. I needed answers, I needed to know how she died. I slowed my driving and went to the Town Hall, they kept all old newspapers, everything. I opened the door and there was nobody inside except a young lady at the counter.

"Hello" I said, I don't think that she herd me come in. She gasped and then looked up, a little smile on her face.

"Jesus," she exclaimed, a bigger smile coming on her face, "You could have scared the crap out of me." She giggled, calming herself. "I'm sorry, it's just we don't get a lot people in here really. It's probably the slowest place around."

"I apologize for scaring you. Actually, I was wondering if you had any newspapers from 2005." I smiled a little, trying to seem as normal as I could be considering what I just found out.

"Yeah, sure, no problem." She rooted in the drawers and pulled out a nice sized folder. "What's your interest?" She asked me, handing me the folder.

"Just something I like to do in spare time. My family was from here, I like learning about them."

"Would you like me to photocopy them? Then you can keep it, I don't normally do it but, I can make an exception." She batted her eye lashes, I wanted to tell her the real reason I was looking, to scare her off but I never. I flashed her a smile.

"That would be lovely, thank you." I I flashed her an even bigger smile and I seen goosebumps raise on her arms and I knew I subconsciously scared her.

"Here you go." She smiled lightly and I nodded and took the folder from her. I turned and walked back out the door and half ran into my car. I threw the folder on the seat and I raced back to the house, going as fast as I could and not caring who seen me. I got out of the car, barley putting it in park and turning it off. I grabbed the folder and I flew up the stairs and opened the door, slamming it behind me. Everybody was already in the living room, sitting down waiting for me. Alice must have seen what I seen, I flashed her a look.

_I didn't tell anyone, Edward. _I half smiled at her, sometimes I think she's the reason that I've been holding on.

"She's dead." I nearly hissed. Everyone looked at me, completely confused. "Bella." I answered their question of who.

"Edward... It's been over three hundred years..." Carlisle was the first to speak, stating the obvious. Obviously she would have died but that's not what I meant. I shook my head.

"No, Carlisle. You don't understand. She died, three days after we left." Everyone's face turned more pale, everyone froze. "Bella died three days after I left her, she didn't grow up and have a good life like we all thought would happen. She died because I left." I slammed the folder down on the table. Everyone lowered their heads to look at the folder. I leaned over to open it up and flipped through all the newspapers until a headline caught my eye.

**Horrible Accident Resulting the Death In Bella Swan**

I read the title out and everyone gasped. I skimmed over the article and sighed.

"The roads were in poor condition, she hit ice and the truck flipped. She died instantly and the truck caught on fire, her body was unrecognizable. There was no autopsy." My voice sounded like it came out of a tomb and I let the newspaper fall, and went into my room. Shutting the door behind me.

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**- Emily. **


	10. Chapter 10

**BELLAPOV**

We have just arrived in Forks and guess what, it was raining. Going through the town it looked exactly the same as when I was growing up. Nothing at all has changed, everything was exactly where it use to be. The store was in the same place, the houses in the same places with the same numbers. I even bet the families that lived there were the same that use to live there, just further generations. It made me feel much more secure, that though everything else in my life has changed, this place hasn't. It's untouched from the world, or so it seems when you stumble upon it. There is no way you could tell that there was a wolf pack out on the reservation, that vampires lived here three hundred years ago and that a vampire is returning who was changed in the woods, right here in Forks. It was so unreal the peace it gave me, the strength it gave me. It felt like a need has been nourished, I felt more alive then I have since I've been changed. I felt so good! I looked over at Jake, and even in his wolf form I could tell how much more relaxed he was. The way he moved was a huge sign, he seemed much more at peace with the earth, even with himself. We made a turn to go down to the reservation; we never told anyone we were coming, even though it was a very last minute decision without having time to let anyone know. I was so excited to see their faces! We were almost there when Jake turned back into his human form, we left the woods and started walking down the road. I took out a jacket of my bookbag so I would look more normal. I pulled it around me and put the hood up. We were walking human speed and we came upon Jake's house. Even his house was the same, it was still the small little red house. I smiled, the good memories I had and the bad. Even though there were a few bad memories, the good over powered them. I felt like I was at home and I breathed deep, feeling so refreshed.

Sam now lives here, Billy gave the house to Jake when he passed but since Jake was with me he let Sam stay there. Sam's wife, Emily, has passed many of years ago. He decided to continue with the pack, as did Embry and Quil. Everyone else has left the pack and passed away with their loved ones. Jake knocked on the door and I could hear Sam's footsteps coming closer to the door, I could hear the door handle turn and the door slowly opened. It took a second for Sam to really see us and his mouth dropped. Sam, the one who could control every emotion, the one who didn't let emotions show, the one that was so wise and calculated let his mouth drop. He was obviously very surprised!

"No way, no way!" His open mouth turned into a huge grin and he called out to the other two boys to come out. Sam hugged Jake for what felt like forever, the smile on my face literally felt like it was going to be stuck there forever. Embry was the first to the door and saw both myself and Jake and jumped at me. I almost stumbled back, the wolves are extremely strong even when they're not in wolf form. I hugged him tightly and he spun me around. I laughed so hard, the first good laugh I had in such a long time. Embry put me down only to be put in a wolf-head-lock by Quil.

"Quil, if you don't let me go I'm going to put you on your ass." I said playfully, flexing my muscles so he could feel them.

"Oh come on vamp, show me what you got!" I flexed my arm and wrapped it around him, with no effort at all I had him flipped over, landing him in the mud. He got up, a big smirk on his face covered from head to toe in mud.

"Hey, it's fair. I warned you!" I exclaimed, laughing at him.

"Yeah, this time you win. Just you wait, I'll made you land on your ass soon!" He hugged me, covering me too in mud and giving me a light kiss on my cheek. Quil was always my favorite of Jake's friends. Sam came over to me and nodded, smiling at me.

"Bella, I'm so glad you both are okay. You guys look amazing, really."

"Thank you Sam." I said, smiling lightly. Sam reminded me so much of Billy now, the way he talked, the way he moved. He was the elder now, and very wise, maybe even more wise than Billy was.

"Come on in." Sam stood out of the doorway, waving us in. We both took off our shoes and I took off my mud covered jacket, giving Quil a playful glare. He smiled a huge smile and winked at me, I quickly flashed him the finger and he stuck out his tongue. He seriously could be the younger brother I never had. It felt so good to be here, it felt like a family reunion, only a good one. My thoughts went to Charlie and I was saddened, thankful he's up in Heaven with Gran, not a worry with him. Floating around, probably fishing and drinking beer. That would be his Heaven.

"So, how long are you guys staying?" Embry asked, hope in his eyes. Every had that same look, hoping that we were staying awhile. Jake looked at me and I smiled, I wanted him to tell everyone.

"Well, me and Bella have been wanting to come back awhile, we never said anything to each other though. We decided yesterday that we were coming back and here we are. We were actually thinking of going back to high school, spending three or four years here." Jake said and with that it felt like the house erupted, there was cheering and more hugs. Finally, it calmed back down.

"Well, there's a lot to sort out. You can't exactly just show up to a high school." Sam's voice chipped in. "You need to have guardians. You need to sort out whether you two are related or adopted, and you should go with adopted." Sam gave us a wink, if I could blush I'd be scarlet.

"Well," Jake spoke up, "I kind of thought that you could adopt us. You look old enough," Jake jabbed Sam's arm, "And you could sign us up for it."

"We'll need some where new to live, and there are people here that know me. It's not like I can just say I adopted you two out of no where." Sam was extremely smart, all these things I over looked. It was times like these that I thanked my vampire brain for working super fast.

"Well, you could say that Jake's parents died, and I'm a friend that tagged along with him, to get out of where ever I lived." I shrugged, it seemed good enough. Sam nodded his head.

"That's good Bella! Yes. It'll work. But I'm assuming you two will want to go to school in town, we'll need to work out how to get you guys out there. It'll be odd for you two to live here and not go to the reservation high school".

I nodded, this posed a problem. I glanced down on the table and there was a newspaper. While the boys chatted, trying to figure everything out I flipped through the paper and came upon the house listings. I gasped, my fathers house was up for sale. Looking pretty much the same as it did when I lived there. The ideas were floating around in my head, the biggest decision was if it would be too hard on me to live there again. No, it wouldn't be.

"Problem solved." I pointed at the house. "We buy it, move in, easy peasy."

"What do we look like, money trees?" Quil exclaimed.

"No, but we are." Jake winked.

"I can take care of it no problem." I stated, looking at everyone's faces become much more relaxed. Everything was coming together piece by piece, moment by moment.

"Okay, everything's sorted out then." Sam said, nodding his head.

"Sam, tomorrow you meet with the real estate lady and I'll call the school and set everything up. Then we should be in school by Wednesday." I said and everyone nodded in my direction. The evening wore on and I felt the burning in my throat resurface and I couldn't remember the last time I hunted. It was extremely uncomfortable and I knew how important tomorrow was, everything had to be perfect. I had to hunt to make sure I was on the top of my game. I was sitting on the couch with Jake, his eyes slowly closing and his arm around me. I stood up, barley moving him and his eyes shot open.

"Where are you going?" Jake asked me, sleep in his voice.

"I need to hunt." I said, walking towards the door.

"Want me to come?" He said as he yawned.

"No, go to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be one busy day. I won't be too long, I'll wake you up when I get back." I blew him and kiss and went out the door, I crossed the road and went into the woods.

I started to pick up speed and lost sense of direction, I just let my body take me wherever, it felt nice to run without a direction in mind. The memories were flooding back in my mind. I thought about when I was changed, about when Edward left me, even my time with Edward. The same hurt came across me and I pushed it away. I didn't want to think about that, every single damn time I revisited those memories there was nothing but pain and anger. I half resented myself because of him, I never wanted to become a vampire, to have to live like this. When he left, I wanted to be left alone. A part of me now wished I never met him, or that I took his warning seriously and stayed away from him. It was too silly that I fell in love with him,and as much as I love Jake it'll never be as strong as my love towards Edward. I wondered if he'd been here since, or if his family came back. I wondered where they were and what they were doing. I started to feel that ripping in my chest, the pain that kept me on edge all the time and I knew it was enough, I had to stop thinking about that now. I started slowing down, realizing I went incredibly far. I stopped near a bubbling stream and something caught my eye, it was a mountain lion dead on the ground. I walked over towards it, it body drained of blood and it's neck snapped and ripped at the veins. What animal out here could possibly do that? Something prodded at my memory but I left it alone. I hunted some deer, filling me up. Even on the way back it felt like I was doing a puzzle and I was missing a piece. I growled, it was so irritating! I could feel myself starting to get contrary and I let it go. I'll probably remember and if not I'll just forget it. It was probably an old memory, something could have reminded me of something. In what seemed like no time I was back at the house. For the first time in a long time I felt drained and I couldn't wait to get tomorrow over with. Maybe the missing piece will be found and I can leave it alone. But now for, I just needed to rest.

* * *

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	11. Chapter 11

**BELLAPOV**

The next day came so fast, before I knew it I was on the phone with the school's principal. He didn't ask me for any information, no transcripts or talking to a guardian. He spent over half the time just talking to me as a friend would, asked more about my likes and dislikes, what I did in spare time, how come I moved and where I came from. It's almost creepy that they'd let anyone in that school, almost as if they're desperate to get more students which makes sense. The more students they have the more money they can make. I think that they'd just be excited someone new is coming, and in this case it's two new people. I remember when I first came here, everyone was obsessed with me just because I was new. Nonetheless, the man was super nice and I picked the same subjects I was doing when I was changed. Jake gave me the list of courses he wanted to do too. By the looks of it we had a great chance of being together in all our classes with the exception that I took Biology and Jake took Chemistry.

I hung up the phone as Sam walked through the door and he smiled warmly at me. Last night I transferred a small amount of money in his account to take care of the house while having a fair amount of money left over. It didn't at all dent any savings I had; it made me feel good that I could do something for him, to help him considering he is giving Jake and myself the one thing that we needed.

"It seems I have come into some money. And by some money, I mean more than twice of what I had." He shook his head, looking at me.

"That's what happens when you have forever to live anywhere, not having to sleep, not having to buy anything." I winked at him, hoping he isn't mad at me. I search his face and he doesn't seem mad which is good.

"Bella, you know I can't accept all that. I'll give you back whatever is left over after the house is bought."

"No, no way. It's a thank you gift for doing this for us. Besides, we're not even sure what the house looks like on the inside. And we're going to need bedding, furniture, everything else. Keep it, please." My eyes were pleading, it was the only thing I could give him. And money didn't mean a thing to me, not a thing. And it was true what I was saying even though I was making it up as I was going. We will need new furniture and will probably have to fix up the house, new paint maybe. Just to put a touch of us in it, to make more memories.

"Thank you Bella. I really mean it. Everything went smooth though, she wants to meet me again at one to make everything legal and then it's ours." His smile was huge, he looked so happy that we were both here. Since Jake was no where to be seen I had a chance to ask him what I needed. There was something I herd a long time ago but I never felt comfortable asking Jake about it and I knew Sam would tell me and would keep it to himself that I asked.

"Sam, can I ask you a question? It's kind of personal..." I let my voice drift, clearly embarrassed and he sat down on a chair in the dining room and nodded. Sometimes Sam intimidated me, he was just so wise and I felt small by him. I cleared my throat and stared down at the table. It was now or never to get the answers I desperately needed.

"How come Emily knew about the pack?" I expected Sam to tense up, to be hurt to hear her name or have to remember her like I did when I remembered things but he never. He had a light smile on his lips, he liked to remember; that was clear. He obviously didn't want to forget her, maybe I should talk about her more. That's the thing with loved ones that passed, they stay alive in memories. However, in my case, I wish I was able to forget.

"Has Jake told you about imprinting?" Sam asked me, leaning closer to me. I shook my head, that's exactly what I needed to know.

"It's another magical thing about wolves. Imprinting is such a strong bond between two people, it's more than love, it's much stronger than love. I imprinted on Emily. It happens the minute you see them, in a way it's like love at first sight. That's the only way to describe it. It's no longer gravity that holds you to the Earth, it's her. You would do and be anything for her, she's your soul-mate. And since the bond and love is so intense, we're allowed to tell them about the pack. It makes things easier. It's the best gift in the world, the bond is unbreakable, nothing else matters as much as she does. You have no choice in it though which is the only downfall some see about it, but when you imprint choice doesn't matter." Sam's voice was warming, his face was glowing.

"What if you're already in love with someone, or at least with someone else." My voice was no more than a whisper and Sam knew why I wanted to know.

"It doesn't matter Bella. I was in love with Leah before I met Emily, but when I met her... There was nothing I could do." Sam's eyes went dark, it was obvious how hurt that made him that he had to leave Leah. I tried to hide my expression, I didn't want Sam knowing how I felt. It always felt like Jake loved me but that it could change. And now I knew why it felt like that, what if he imprinted on someone? I'm positive he didn't imprint on me, but I don't want him to imprint on anyone else. I loved Jake and I didn't want to lose him, I could barley think about him being with someone else; it would devastate me and I don't think I could be around him. I could hear Jake coming closer to the house and the conversation had to be ended.

"Sam, can you keep this between us?" I whispered and he nodded, I always knew I could trust him. I kept hearing Jake get closer and closer and then he was through the door. He came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek and I shuffled a little bit away from him, I don't know why but I wanted to get a bit of distance from him. I felt like I was suffocating, the news about imprinting really struck a nerve with me and I didn't know what to do. Jake loves me, I'm sure but he can imprint on anyone so easily and then I'm just left behind. Another used toy. I wanted to keep Jake but if he's destined to be with someone else ... I don't know what I'd do without Jake, he's the only reason I am where I am. He's my best friend, he's everything I have. I don't want to be alone, I don't want to be without him. Maybe that's just my destiny, to be alone for eternity. I could feel that too familiar hole starting to open in my chest and I needed to go, to clear my head. I looked at the time and Sam would be leaving soon. I had to leave, I had to get out of here; I didn't want to be around Jake right now.

"Sam, can I come with you?" I asked, my voice sounded funny and Jake noticed. His brows went together while trying to get a look at my face; I knew if he seen me it would give everything away, he'd knew I was upset and I really didn't want that conversation. I don't want to talk to him about it, I don't want to talk to him at all right now actually. I kept my back to him and I begged Sam with my eyes, with a look at me and Jake he nodded. I could have jumped in his arms, it was such a relief.

"I'm leaving now, come on." He grabbed his coat and walked out the door, I followed grabbing my coat. I was almost out the door when Jake put his hand on my shoulder, I brushed him off and followed Sam to his car and got in, keeping my head down. If there was ever a time that I wanted to cry, that I wanted to feel the tears drown me, it was now.

"Bella, imprinting doesn't happen to everyone in the pack. Quil and Embry haven't imprinted, it's not a hundred percent." Sam knew how upset I was, honestly a toddler could see it.

"I don't know Sam, I just got a bad feeling." I peeked up at him and his face was grim, his hands tightened around the wheel. He nodded, a secret in his eyes.

"Me too." He answered me.

After that we drove in silence to the house, my old house. I like silence, but now it was too hard. My thoughts were going in every direction, thinking about what secret Sam could be keeping from me, about going to the house where there was just so many memories and about Jake imprinting. The lady was outside and she looked very friendly. She was on the phone and hung up as soon as we pulled in the driveway. For some reason I half expected Charlie's cruiser to be in the driveway with my truck next to it. But that was so long ago, it would never be like that. She waved at Sam and I could see her hold her breath when she seen me. It was the same reaction I got every time I met someone; the beauty was outstanding to them. If they only knew why I looked so good and what I had to go through. It was a punishment really, all this beauty with a dead heart. Having to live and have everyone you know die, having to move every so many years because you never age. I shook off the thoughts as I got out of the car with Sam and put on my coat, wanting to seem normal. Sam shook her hand and she turned to shake mine, damn. It was obvious she could feel how cold I was and she was staring at me as goosebumps went up her arm.

"Sorry, I'm perished. I'm not use to the cooler weather." I rubbed my hands together trying to seem like I was warming them up and pulled the coat around me, I even faked a little cough. I could have been a damn actress!

"Not to worry dear, it's not always this bad. You'll get use to it real quick." She flashed me a huge smile and I hope she bought it, I thought it was pretty good myself. She turned around and unlocked the door. Sam winked at me and put a thumbs up. Hah, that was a pretty good cover then. The house looked exactly the same as when I left. We walked into the porch and I held my breath. The kitchen was still yellow with the cupboards redone but still looking the same. It nearly knocked me over, the memories flooded my brain and it hurt. I could still picture Charlie sitting at the table, or Edward sitting at the table next to Charlie. I felt a tugging at me, as if someone was behind me pushing me while someone in front was guiding me.

"Sam, I just need to go over these papers with you and have you to sign a few things then if there's no problems this house is yours." Her voice was friendly and I suspected she had a little crush on Sam. She brushed his hand as she set out the papers and they dove into it.

"I'm going to take a look around." I said and not waiting for a reply I went up the stairs. There was something pulling me up there, pulling me to my room. I stood at the doorway and just stared. Every memory was kicking at me, punching my stomach, pulling my hair. The nightmares I had about Edward, Edward coming in my room to watch me sleep, when I looked out the window and seen Edward standing outside his car for the first time to pick me up... I realized one thing, I really missed him. I wanted to see him, so badly. I wanted an explanation of why he left me, why I had to become a vampire and be in this messed up world. Why he just tossed me aside when he got bored, why he took his entire family away from me too without even saying goodbye.

The last time I was in this room I gave Charlie a letter... It was when me and Jake was running away and it felt like yesterday for me, everything was just too real for me. I stepped into the room and held my breath. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a board on the floor that was slightly off, not even noticeable to humans but it caught my eye. I looked behind me and I felt like someone was watching me but there was nobody here, I could hear Sam and the lady downstairs, there was nobody else here. Without thinking I floated to the board and gently lifted it. It came up with a bit more effort than it should have but it did come up. I felt like I was in a movie and this was the climax, all we needed was bad music and a crowd. There was something deep in the floor and I reached in, grabbing it. It felt like paper, extremely worn, and I opened it up being extremely gentle. It was yellowed but still was in good condition, I guess since it was under the floor for God knows how long, probably not even touched since Charlie lived here or before that.. A pain hit me in the stomach as I opened one piece of the paper, it was my note. My last words to Charlie and It was folded many of times, Charlie must have kept reading it. I sank down to my knees and opened the second piece of paper. It was a letter from Charlie.

_Bella, if you come back I hope you get to read this letter. I love you so much Bella, I'm so sorry I wasn't there to protect you! The note you left me gave me more strength than you could have known, it's the reason I'm still living. Please find peace Bella, I'll be there with you some day. I love you Bells, always._

The letter was scribbled in pen, obvious tear drops smudged the words. My note gave him peace of mind and strength, my exact reason for leaving it. I squeezed my eyes shut, putting the letter to my dead heart and cried as best as I could without the tears. I herd that they were concluding everything downstairs; I clutched the paper and shoved it in my pocket and put the board in the floor back, smacking it lightly so it would fit perfectly in place. Who needs a hammer when you have a vampire? I went downstairs as Sam and the lady was finishing and shaking hands. She handed him the keys with smiling at me and Sam she left, closing the door behind her. I had to compose myself, I put on my best happy face and smiled at Sam.

"It's official, this is ours!" Sam was so excited. I wish I shared his energy, but to be truthful I had a feeling that this was just the beginning of one messed up year.

* * *

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**Much love,**

**- Emily.**


	12. Chapter 12

**EDWARDPOV**

It was a two days after I learnt about Bella's death, it was two days since I left my room. Nobody bothered me, I just sat in the corner of my room, not bothering to do anything, not even think. I was better by myself. The hurt... the pain ... the knowing.. It was too much for me. I wanted to disappear, I wanted to go away but I knew I couldn't. I was stuck here and it was my own fault. I herd footsteps coming up the stairs and I knew it was Alice coming in to check on me. I searched her mind but she kept it occupied so I wouldn't say anything first. I sighed, I didn't want to do this.

_Can I come in please?_ Before I had a chance to say yes, she opened the door, already knowing that I was going to say yes. I didn't bother to look at her. She stood tapping her foot, clearly very angry. I slumped down further, waiting for it.

_Edward, you're hurting everyone AGAIN! _Her mental voice shrieked at me and I knew she was angry and it hurt me, it pinned me to the floor. I looked up at her and her face looked even worse. It was hurt and pissed. It was the second time I have ever seen her this upset and I knew it was because of me. As if I couldn't be hurt anymore, here I am, hurting even worse.

_Whether we stayed or not she would have died. That's it. You made us leave, you thought it would be better. That was a choice, it's not like you killed her Edward. She meant a lot to all of us you know, not just you! You don't think it didn't hurt us to leave? You don't think it didn't hurt ALL of us to know that she died DAYS after we left? Of course it did Edward. And now you're hurting us, again. And it's just not good enough. You're my brother, and I love you. But it's not fair to you or any of us that you're doing this again. We came here for a fresh start, now get off your ass and get changed. You're going to school tomorrow and I don't give a damn about anything else. And after you've changed, you're marching yourself downstairs and you're sitting down with the family. Because that's what we are, we're a family. _It was useless to argue with Alice, and she was right. Everyone else was hurt about Bella's death, not just me. I nodded at her and smiled. It's so hard! It's like nothing I ever do helps any situation! It's so frustrating.

"Thank you, Alice." I said and she smiled, scrunching her nose.

"You're welcome." She fluttered out the room and went downstairs. I put on a change of clothes and went downstairs, everyone was ready to go to school that day and froze when they seen me, clearly not expecting me to come.

"I'd like to apologize to everyone for losing it again. I don't mean to hurt you guys, it's just... it hurts so bad. Too bad..." My voice trailed off and everyone came over to me. Their faces showing the exact same emotion, pain. If Bella only knew how much we all loved her...

"Edward, we know how hard it is, it's hard for us to. Please, don't do that again. Talk to us, we'll help you." Esme said as she hugged me and kissed my cheek.

"Next time you do it I'm going to make sure you lose it." Rose said, her eyes dark. I laughed and nodded. "Come on, we're going to be late as it is."

Rose was right, we were already late. We'd get there around second period but it didn't matter. I felt half good again, I needed my family and they needed me. I knew what I could be getting myself in here when we came back but I came back. I knew what I had to face and the memories that would come back with being here. I'm just so weak, I've always been weak. It's love, love makes you weaker. The love I have for Bella will never ever go away, it can't. Not after this long, I wanted to keep her alive at least in my memories. I needed her even if she was only in my memory. Sometimes, I wish that I could sleep, so I could see her in my dreams but it was impossible. We were in the school parking lot and the only open space was beside a new car, I never noticed it before. I glanced at it but payed no attention. I didn't care if anyone new was here, it wasn't Bella, it wasn't my life or my heart, they didn't matter.

"Another new kid." Alice gleamed, clapping her hands as she examined the car. She scrunched her nose. _Do you smell that? _She mentally asked me and I shook my head slightly, just enough for her to notice. It smelled like a wet dog, like the reservation but with a hint of something, something very good... I let it go, it doesn't matter.

"Finally, a bit less attention on us, hopefully." Jasper said, smiling. I smiled back at him and nodded, I had a bad, bad feeling about this.

The rest of the day went fairly quick, I didn't bother going in the cafeteria with the rest of my family for lunch. I decided to go back to my car and put on music, specifically Bella's song. It played so smoothly and I put it on repeat. I moved my fingers on my lap as if it were a piano and I was playing it for it. I glanced at the clock and an hour as passed, I haven't even noticed the bell! I got out of my car and walked quickly towards my class, Biology. The same one I shared with Bella so many years ago... A part of me wished that she would be there, not caring that I've seen her grave or read about her accident. I just need her back, I wanted to see her, just one last time. It was the same redundant thought in my head, the wish would never be granted, it was impossible.

I walked to the back of the room and noticed books on my table, I sighed. I didn't want a partner and I didn't want anyone sitting next to me. I wanted to be left alone and the rest of the class knew that. I wondered if it was the new person as I walked closer to the table and gasped. She looked like Bella.. She had the same long brown hair, the same features from what I could tell. I focused on her, trying to get her thoughts but there was nothing, just like Bella...I kept getting closer and closer and I could see her face. It was Bella. It was Bella! But... How could it be? It couldn't possibly be Bella... I shook my head and sat down, just my mind playing tricks on me. I must have wished too hard and I hallucinated. I angled my chair towards her to get a better view and she brushed her hair off her face. I gasped again. It was defiantly Bella, she looked exactly the same as Bella! Only she was much paler... I took a deep breath and I couldn't smell anything off her. The only thing I could smell was a scent from a vampire, a different scent. A vampire... The words rang in my head.

"Isabella..." And she looked up, right into my eyes. Her golden eyes locking in mine. Time stopped, the world stopped, Isabella Swan was sitting next to me.


	13. Chapter 13

"Are you okay Bella? You look shaken up?" Sam asked me as we neared the reservation.

"Yeah, just a lot of memories I guess." That was the best explanation I had other than the full truth. I couldn't tell him about the letters or how crushing it was of the flood of memories or how I've suddenly missed Edward so much or how I'm terrified that Jake's going to imprint on someone and I'm going to lose him forever. I can't tell him that I wish I would stop existing. I can't tell him that I wanted to run away, as far as I could by myself. I can't tell him that I'm breaking down, that this all is too much for me. I can't let him know how weak I really am.

"You'll be okay Bella. You're very strong, whether you believe it or not." We pulled up to the house and Jake was sitting outside on the steps waiting for us. I sighed, I could tell he wanted to talk and I'm not in the mood. I don't think I'll ever be in the mood to talk about this but it had to be done. It'll only get worse if I kept pushing it. Our first day of school was tomorrow, I didn't want to be distracted around so many humans. Not for the fact that I'm scared I'll slip up and kill someone but because I wanted to fit in, to seem as normal as I could be.

"You got to talk to Jake, Bella. It'll never get better between you two if you don't." Sam said as he opened his door under his breath and I wanted to hit him. I just want someone to hug me, to tell me that it's normal what I'm going through. I want someone to listen to me and be able to understand everything without judging me. There should be a vampire psychologist, I'm sure every single vamp needs one at some point in time.

I took a deep breath before getting out and walked up to Jake, who stayed still on the steps, examining my face. I stared back at his and a lump rose in my throat; the thought of losing him is so real, it's so easy, too easy. I stood and he sat for what seemed like hours, we were both frozen. I wish I could read his mind, to be able to know exactly what he was feeling, to be able to know exactly what he was thinking. I sighed as he stood up.

"Bella, we need to talk." He got up and walked over to the shed, opening the door. I stood there, only turning in his direction. It's funny how those three words make you think about every single bad thing you've ever done in your entire life. I wondered what he knew, if he knew what me and Sam talked about. If he knew how big of an impact being here has on me even thought I needed to come back. There was only one way to find out what he was thinking or what he knew and it was to go in the shed. I slowly walked there, trying to build courage with my steps. It never worked. I went through the door and Jake was sat on the couch and waved me over to sit next to him. I sat as far away as I could, staring in front of me. I couldn't take a chance at looking at him.

"Bella, did I do or say something?" His voice was low, the hurt was so clear in his voice.

"No." I replied, not a single feeling in my voice. I sounded like a robot.

"Then why in the hell are you acting so weird? Don't try and deny it, I know you better than you even know yourself. You're sitting away from me, you wouldn't let me kiss you before you left and you pushed me off you." His voice rose and I could tell he was getting angry and it made me feel horrible, like a criminal. I know I was hurting Jake, every thing I've done today hurt him. This would be our first fight, ever. I didn't answer him and he kept going on.

"Bella, what's wrong. Please, Please tell me. I can't fix it if you don't tell me!" He moved in front of me, trapping me. He was on his knees in front of me, his hands grabbing mine so tight. I felt a fire in my stomach, a new found courage and I let it go.

"Why didn't you tell me about imprinting?" His face was confused, he shrugged. "Jacob, why didn't you tell me there's a chance you could imprint on someone. You'd have no choice but leave me. For some reason, I think that's one damned good thing to tell a girl. You're right, you know me better than anyone else but I know nothing about you!" I spat, really getting angry.

"Bella, I've been a wolf for three hundred years. I have met hundreds and hundreds of people and I haven't imprinted on anyone..." His soft voice trailing off.

"The possibility is there Jake!" I yelled and he let my hands go.

"It is, but it's slim..." I was really hurting him now and I was too far gone to even stop.

"Jake, you can fall in love with some random person and then I'll be on my own again. Another person throwing me aside! I've been broken once Jake, and that's enough for me. It's not fair that you can just have a stupid damn bond with someone else and everything we done and everything we had means nothing! It's not fair!"

"I don't know a lot about imprinting, but I don't think it's going to happen to me Bella. I don't even think that would be strong enough to take over me, not when I have you." Jake stood up and sat next to me, not giving me any room to move.

"Sam imprinted on Emily while he was in love with Leah. Sam left Leah for Emily! You'll leave me for someone else!" I shouted and I knew I was right. There was nothing else he could say, he couldn't argue anymore.

"That's not fair Bella. You're making assumptions about what's going to happen, just live in the now. Be happy, it might never happen." He wrapped me in his arms and I had nothing else to say. It felt good to get one thing off my chest and I wasn't mad anymore. I didn't want to fight with Jake, I didn't want to hurt him. But the possibility is there, it always will be. I wish I never fell in love with him, I wish things were the way they were suppose to be. I wish I actually had an accident and died. Living, well existing, is too hard. Coming back here was a mistake, I never should have came back.

"Bella, I love you." He kissed my cheek and held me tighter.

"I love you too." I whispered. We sat there for hours, not talking just holding each other, slipping kisses in. It started getting dark when Jake started to yawn.

"Jake, I'm sorry for getting mad at you." I said, kissing him.

"Bella, it's not your fault. I should have told you, you had every right to get mad at me." Jake said, kissing me back.

"Let's go inside and go to bed, we have a big day tomorrow. I'm gong to start moving everything into the house with Sam." I said and he nodded, yawning again. We walked into the house and everyone was there, smiling at us.

"Finally, the old married couple made up. We were getting worried Jake." Quil winked. "So Bella, you helping us move every thing there?"

"Of course, you need the muscle help." I winked at him.

"You guys have fun, I'm going to bed." Jake said and went into his room and closed the door.

"How are we getting everything there?" I asked Sam who was finishing his supper.

"A friend let me borrow his truck, he'd bringing it over in a few minutes. Everything that we're taking is packed and ready to go. It was a good idea Bella, to wait until dark." Sam replied.

"I don't think it'd look too good if I was lifting everything that three or four men couldn't left." I smirked and everyone laughed agreeing.

The rest of the night went fast, we got all the beds and bedding up first. I was bringing everything in and setting up. Finally when the sun started to rise we were done, everything was put away and good to use. The kitchen was the last to be finished, as I was packing away the dishes Sam came up to me.

"Bella..." He started and I looked at him, there was something in his eyes, I couldn't tell what it was. "You can talk to me, about anything. It'll stay between us, I won't say anything to anyone, not even Jake. I just think you need someone to talk to, you can't do this all by yourself you know."

"Thank you, I'll keep that in mind." I replied and I hugged him. I knew I wouldn't talk to him about this but it was nice, it was the best thing to say. We were all sitting around the table and everyone was yawning and Embry fell asleep. I laughed lightly, I looked at the clock and it was soon time to pick up Jake. I changed my clothes and brushed out hair, it had gotten very long and I liked it. I smiled in the mirror, finally the day has come to start school. I had an uneasy feeling in my stomach but brushed it off, there's no way it could get worse than yesterday. I checked the time again and it was time to go down and pick up Jake. I walked into the kitchen and all three guys were asleep at the table, I smiled at them. They're my family, they're the best people in the world. Even though by legend I'm their only enemy, they don't treat me like it. They put everything aside for me, all our differences and they made me part of their family. Without them, I'd have nobody. I grabbed my keys and went out the door. I drove down the familiar road to get Jake and he was standing in the door way as I pulled up, his face was glowing. It gave me such energy! He half ran to the car and jumped in, giving me a big kiss.

"What are the guys doing?" He asked, taking a bite out of an apple.

"Oh they're asleep." I laughed.

"Bella, this is our first day of school!" He let out a howl and I laughed even harder, ignoring the burning in my stomach. We pulled up to the school and we were still a bit early which was good. We both got out of the car and went into the office which smelled heavily of coffee, gross. I cleared my throat and a young guy behind the counter looked up and gasped, mouth wide open. A vain part of me liked it, I was never noticed at all when I was a human and it made me feel good sometimes to get noticed.

"Hi." I said, smiling. He was still staring at me, not even noticing Jake behind me.

"Hello, I'm Matt." He stuttered, standing up.

"Hey." Jake said to him, taking my hand and you could see Matt's face crumple as he looked at Jake.

"What can I do for you two?" He asked us, clearly upset that Jake was holding my hand.

"We're new here." I smiled, and he nodded his head as he opened a drawer.

"Well, here's your schedules and a map. Good luck." He dismissed us and sat back down, turning away. I smiled at Jake and he winked we turned around and opened the door.

"Hey!" He called out. We both turned around, looking at him. "Are you related to anyone here Isabella?"

"Please call me Bella, and no." His mouth turned down and he nodded. Weird, why would he ask me that? Jake took my hand again and we walked out the door. The parking lot was getting full, thankfully me and Jake were in every single class together except the different one we took. I half smiled, my biology class was in the same slot it was when I was last here. We herd the school bell ring and we both walked to our first class, math.

The day was so exciting to me, all the teachers were super nice and we kept introducing ourselves. I kept getting stared at and talked to the most, Jake kept smiling. It was lunch time and me and Jake split up to go to our lockers. His was the furthest away from the cafeteria and I waited at my locker from him. Everyone was staring at me as they passed and I smiled at them, trying to be as friendly as possible. I knew everyone's name right away and most of them seemed really nice, it was relaxing. I seen Jake walking towards me and I smiled at him as he kissed my cheek.

"Hungry?" I asked him as we walked hand in hand to the cafeteria.

"As hungry as a wolf." He winked at me and I giggled. By the time we were in the cafeteria it was packed, everyone was already here. There were two free seats by a guy named Jamie who waved at us and we walked over and sat down. Everyone was eating except me and I hoped nobody noticed.

"Not hungry?" A girl in my English class named Hannah asked me.

"Oh, she's on a diet." Jake rolled his eyes. "She just drinks a protein shake at lunch." He was a lifesaver! I nodded to what he said and everyone nodded and the subject was changed.

"What class do you have next?" Jamie asked me.

"Biology." I said sneaking a look at my schedule even though I knew what I had. But nobody normal could memorize their schedule that fast, so it seemed better if I checked it.

"Me too!" He piped up. "I'll talk to the teacher to get you to be my partner. There's someone in the class without a partner but he's weird..." His voice trailed off and that paining burning sensation returned to my stomach. "I'll try to get you with me." He smiled, a bit too warmly. Jake scooted closer to me and kissed my cheek, I rolled my eyes. This was going to be fun... I looked at my watch and knew the bell was going to ring soon, I wanted to get out of there before the Bell rang and everyone tried to squish out the door. I stood up and Jake stood with me.

"See you in Bio." I said to Jamie and we left.

"That guy was practically drooling on you." Jake huffed. I laughed it off, getting my book out of my locker as the bell rang. Jake gave me a quick kiss and left. I sighed and in a matter of seconds Jamie was over to me, his Bio book in his hand. I rolled my eyes, if he only knew that the only thing that slightly appealed to me was his blood he wouldn't be standing so close to me. We both walked in the direction of the class and we were one of the first people in it. He walked over to where his partner was and started chatting, I moved to the very back of the room and sat down on the inside, in case someone else wanted to sit next to me. On second thought, I sprawled my books across the top of the table hoping they thought the seat was taken. I took out my note book and started doodling on it, I could tell the classroom was getting full. I herd someone move the chair next to me and I didn't bother to look to see who it was. I herd them gasp as they sat next to me, turning their chair towards me.

I moved my hair from my face and there was another gasp, I kept doodling, not bothering to look up.

"Isabella?" I froze in my seat, I knew that voice. I looked up and there he was, sitting next to me. His beautiful face one of horror and pain, I could only imagine what my face looked like. Right there, sitting not inches from me was him. It was Edward freaking Cullen.


	14. Chapter 14

Here he was, Edward Cullen. He wasn't a figment of my imagination, this wasn't a memory. This is reality, as much as I wished this, now in the moment I wish it wasn't happening. He's the one, he's the reason to everything. The reason to everything about me, the first person I fell in love with; the first person to break my heart. There are so many things I want to do, so many things I wanted to know; needed to know. I wanted to grab him by the hair of his head and drag him outside, I wanted to hit him. I wanted him to show him how much it hurt me when he left. I wanted to show him what I became because of him. I wanted to tell him about Charlie, about Billy and how much everyone was hurt that I had to fake my own death. I wanted to tell him that I had to run away, leaving everyone behind while taking Jake. Making Jake leave his family behind because Jake actually cared about me. Jake actually loves me! Jake wouldn't have left me like he did! There was just so much that he needed to know. He needed to know how much it hurt me, existing every single day with the horror of what happened to me. Being punished with only memories of him and his damn perfect family. He got it easy, he was able to just up and leave like nothing ever happened while I was damned with this. I never wanted this, I didn't want to become a vampire but because of him I had no choice. I never had choice with him; I couldn't stop him from leaving me, I couldn't talk to him but now I have a choice. I could leave Forks, I could leave him or I could stay here, not giving into him. I looked over at him and he was staring at me, his mouth open. I desperately needed to know what he was thinking, what he thought of this. I wanted to know why it looked like he was feeling pain and what exactly was causing him pain. Was it that I was a vampire? Was it that he wished I had just died? Was it that he missed me? Did he still love me? I took a deep breath and I could smell him, it was so much better than in my memories. My memories did no justice in this, in his scent or even his face. I always thought about it, I always knew that I couldn't forget him so I kept thinking about him, memorizing what I could from my memories. I shook my head lightly, I didn't want to be flooded with any memories right now. I needed to keep my mind as focused as possible or I'll end up slipping up, one slip and I'll become unraveled. Not exactly something that would be easy to cover up.

The teacher came strolling in, a young man. Couldn't be more than twenty-five and was pretty good looking. He looked at me and nodded, smiling lightly. I smiled back, hoping he wasn't going to make me introduce myself in front of everyone. He sat down at the computer and turned off the light, we we're going to watch a movie. I internally thanked him a hundred times in my head, if he only knew.

"Alright everyone! Pay attention because there will be a test on this next week!" He flicked on the movie and I was over aware of Edward. I could feel him breathing, I could smell his amazing scent. Every movement he made felt like an electric current flowing through my body, stopping at my chest. It made my chest hurt more than it ever did before and I instinctively put my hand to my chest as if I could feel the hole. I glanced his way and he was still leaning towards me, his eyes almost droopy, looking like a sad puppy. His face gave away most of his emotions but I didn't understand why he was feeling them. I wanted to scream at him that he's the one that left me! He's the reason that I am the way I am, that I'm a vampire because of him. That he ruined my life, that I stopped living but is now only existing and it's all his fault. If he didn't leave then this wouldn't have happened. Or if he even checked to see if Victoria was around first, or even staying around keeping an eye out. At least not make me follow him into the woods. I glanced around the room and everyone was paying attention to the movie so I ripped out a page off my notebook.

_What do you want from me Edward?_

I pushed the note towards him and it looked like he struggled to break his gaze from me. He took out a pen and elegantly wrote while slowly giving it it back to me, his eyes locking on my face.

_Too much to talk about right now, my Bella._

I gritted my teeth, here he was playing games with me again!

_Get one thing straight, Edward Cullen, I am NOT your Bella._

His face relaxed a bit more, he looked almost content! I gritted my teeth while he slipped the paper over to me.

_Will you please talk to me after school Bella?_

I know I needed this, I needed to talk to him. I wanted it more than anything but I didn't want him to know how badly I wanted to. I tried my best to seem nonchalant.

_Fine._

I seen him stare at the word for what felt like forever. He scribbled something, with a pained look on his face.

_You will always be my Bella._

I inhaled deeply and went to write but he took the note, ripping it into small pieces as the light came back on. The bell rang and with one last glance at me, he vanished out the door. I sat in my chair, clutching my chest and gathered the strength to get up and walk out of the class room, grabbing my jacket as I left. I had class with Jake next and I had so much to tell him! I needed Jake so badly, I needed him to hold me and tell me everything will be okay. I wanted him to come with me, he's the only thing that is keeping me from running away at the moment. The class was next to his locker and I raced a bit faster than I should have towards it. I needed Jake now more than ever. I seen him leaning against his locker, his back to me talking to someone else. I tapped him on the shoulder and he nodded in my direction, not breaking eye contact with whoever he was talking to. Rage built up in me, I wanted to spin him around and make him see what I was feeling but I restrained. I swear this is going to ruin me!

"Jake, I need to speak to you." I said in a whisper that he would understand. But he didn't even acknowledge me! He put up a hand to me and I swear I almost cracked it off. I put my hand on his arm tightly and seen the goosebumps, finally he turned around. There was a look on his face I couldn't understand... I was confused and I looked at who he was talking to. It was a girl, the same girl that was just in my Biology class. For a second I was worried she was talking to him about me and Edward. I seen Jake take another look at her and it all clicked. He imprinted. It's as simple as that. The way he looked at her, his face lit up like a child's face unwrapping gifts at Christmas. The way he was standing it was like his feet were melting. Me and Jake are over, Jake's not mine anymore. I'm all alone, just as I knew I always would be.

"Hi, please excuse us for just one second." I said glaring at her, doing everything in my power to not kill her right here, right now.

"Bella..." Jake's voice croaked. He knew that I knew and he didn't dare look at me.

"You imprinted." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. I knew it, I knew it all along that he would and here it is, he just did. Perfect timing! He imprinted as I just "reconnected" with Edward Cullen! He nodded, still not looking at me.

"I'm so sorry Bella...I don't know.. I don't know what to say." Jake mumbled, scuffing his feet.

"I'm sure you are Jake. Go have your happily ever after." I said, my voice croaking. I cleared my throat and continued. "By the way, Edward Cullen is here."

Jake's head snapped up, his hands started shaking. "What!?" He hissed. I swear to God I wanted to hit his head in the locker. How could he get upset that Edward is here while a couple of feet away is this girl that he happened to imprint on leaving me by myself to have to deal with this shit show.

"I'm going to talk to him after class." That seemed to hurt him and I was happy. Yes Jake, it's your turn to be hurt.

"Bella, I'm coming with you." Jake said in a matter-of-fact tone, putting his hand on my arm. I grabbed his hand and with as much force as I could without actually breaking his bones I took his hand off me.

"No, you're not. You've got your hands full as it is. I'll see you whenever I get home." I turned towards the direction of the class and walked away, not looking back at him. I couldn't think about that now, there was just too much I needed to do. I sat down in the class next to someone I didn't even bother noticing, looking straight forward. They may have spoke but I didn't care, I wasn't listening to them. I seen Jake come in and look around the class and spot me then spot the seat was taken beside me. His face was crumpled but I could care less! He sat next to the girl he imprinted on and I could tell his mood was back to happy, not worrying about anything else but her. He gets to be happy with the girl he imprinted on, he gets to have the happily ever after ending but I don't! I never did! And I never will. It's not fair! What did I do in my life to deserve this? Seriously!

I kept going over and over what needed to be said when we met and I tried to figure what he would say. I tried playing it in my head, assuming where the conversation was going to go. I knew for a fact that shit was going to hit the fan; it was either shit or Edward, and it sucked because he wouldn't even know it hit him. It would be as if a fly landed on him. I kept thinking, kept trying to picture the conversation. Then I remembered if he was here, his family is too. I had to talk to all of them, I had to be confronted with all of them. Every single Cullen.

The bell ring and this time I did jump, it startled me! How could a bell startle a vampire!? I sighed and brushed past Jake.

"If I were you, I'd get that chick to give you a ride home, or Sam." I left, leaving Jake behind me and went into the parking lot. I tried taking my time going to the car, looking as normal as I could possibly fake. I gave hello's and exchanged smiles with those I passed on the way. Finally I could see my car, and next to my car was them. All of them. It was his family and they all had the same look on their faces. Shock, disbelief, horror. Get over it! It's your fault that I'm like this! I tried to compose myself as best I could and stood next to my car, as far away to them as I could.

"Bella." Edward nodded to me. I didn't say anything, I didn't even move. "I think it would be best to speak at my house." I nodded and got in my car and started it. I herd a tapping at the window and it was Edward.

"Do you remember the way?" He asked me, the pained looked in his face. I shot him the best glare I could, pouring only the hate and anger, not the other emotions that I was feeling.

"How could I forget?" I hissed and pulled out, he was still leaning over, looking in my direction as I sped out of the parking lot. I seen Jake get in the car with _that _girl and he was smiling and laughing, she was smiling at laughing. I wanted to run into them but I decided I shouldn't. I really like this car. I went down the road towards _that _house. Truthfully, it was only a vague memory of the house but it was enough to get me where I needed to be. I pulled into the driveway and stopped at the house, shortly behind me the others came. It was time.

* * *

**So, what do you think so far?**

**What should the conversation be?**

**And to one reviewer, the reason the Cullen's couldn't pick up the scent of Bella in the school or town is because she's always with Jake which turns her scent different, which was mentioned when the Cullen's parked next to her car. This actually worked in the book Eclipse when Jake carried Bella through the woods so the newborns wouldn't be able to pick up her scent. **

**And Bella couldn't pick up their scent because she's never been around a vampire before, if she did pick up the scent she would assume it's from a memory. **

**Please, any suggestions about what should happen and what should be said or the flow of the conversation would be greatly appreciated!**

**THANKS SO MUCH :D:D:D:D**

**Much love,**

**- Emily. **


	15. Chapter 15

**EDWARDPOV**

I raced out of the room as the bell rang, I needed to find my family. They needed to know what's going on. I took out my cell phone and texted them all.

_Urgent. Meet in the parking lot, now, everyone._

I slipped the phone back into my pocket and started moving towards the parking lot. Passing a lot of people going the opposite way but I didn't care. I payed no attention them, none of them was Bella. There are no words to describe this, to describe the feelings I have. It feels like a dream, seeing her so pale with no heartbeat; her precious scent gone. So cold, she hated me. She had to with the looks she gave me. It's so ironic that I wished I would see her and then she was in front of me. I hoped she would have been happy to see me, to go right back into everything as if I never left. But that wouldn't happen, it's so clear that I hurt her so badly. I hurt her worse than I hurt myself and my family; that was a huge pill to swallow. I still didn't understand why Alice didn't see her or why we couldn't get her scent. It was so faint, barley recognizable unlike her scent when she was a human. There was just so much that wasn't right, I hoped we'd learn about it when we talked, if she still decided to talk that is.

I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket but I left it alone, I couldn't tell them this over a text! I couldn't tell them that the love of my existence is here in this school. I couldn't tell them that Bella is a vampire. I don't even know how I was going to tell them, I didn't want to. I wish Alice could see and let the others know! To have to explain this...to say it out loud would be too much, it'd make it real. I had no answers to any of the questions they were going to ask, just what I've seen. Even though she looked like Bella, she didn't act like her at all. She seemed so cold, full of hate. The Bella I knew was the complete opposite, so warm, so kind. But she changed! Now she's a vampire, I have no idea what she seen. How or why she was changed. No wonder she's so full of hate ... But towards what? Towards me? Of course she hates me, I left her. I'm probably the reason she's a vampire. If she never met me then none of this would be happening! I could feel myself losing it but I held it together as I walked to the car. Jasper was already there, his eyes were huge as he was getting a feel of my emotions. I could only imagine what it felt like for him.

_Edward? What?_ His mental voice was panicking and I felt ease come over me, it relaxed me. I was so thankful he was helping me, especially calming me before the others got here. I don't want to have a meltdown in a parking lot where anyone could see.

"Thank you." I said solemnly. I turned around standing next to him and I could see the others coming, their faces in a state of shock, their thoughts all sounding the same except Alice who was searching the future, seeing what danger or problem has arisen. I shook my head at her.

"Alice, you're not going to see it. I don't know why but you're not. Just like we didn't pick up the scent when we got here." I said low as they were coming towards me but they all herd me perfectly.

"What? What scent?" Rose exclaimed, nostrils flaring, standing so close. Everyone did. I took a deep breath and started.

"This car, do you know who owns this car?" I asked and everyone shook their head.

"Edward, just tell me bro!" Emmett's muscles were tensing, as if he were expecting an attack.

"A vampire. A vampire owns this car, and goes to this school." I said, staring at Alice. Her face was blank, along with everyone else's. They have no idea what it could be, and I can't blame them. I went to go ahead but Rose cut me off.

"That's impossible Edward. We would have smelled them, picked up their scent in the school; they'd stand out to us like a sore thumb." Rose huffed, putting her hands on her hips getting inpatient.

"No, this one is different. I had a class with her and I didn't realize she was a vampire until she looked at me." I could feel my face turning into the pain that I kept hidden so well. I felt Jasper use his power to the fullest and it helped intensely. I shot another thankful glance at him.

"What does this have to do with us Edward?" Alice asked me, her forehead crumpling.

"The vampire, the one that's in this school, the one I had class with..." I let my voice drift, hoping I wouldn't have to finish. I listened to everyone's thoughts but they were just confused; they couldn't even guess that it was Bella.

"It's Bella." My dead voice croaked. Everyone's eyes went huge, mouth opened. Their thoughts were all over the place, I couldn't even get a good grasp on one.

"Edward...that's impossible." Rose said, her hand on her throat. Rose never actually hated Bella, just hated she was human. I think Rose missed her most than the rest of them. Bella gave Rose hope, even though she would never admit it. It was always in her thoughts, she loved Bella as we all did but resented her because she was human and Rose wasn't.

"It's the truth... But she's different. She seems so cold, so lifeless..." I let my voice fade, they still didn't believe me.

"Of course she is Edward! She's a vampire now!" Rose almost shouted. _And it's our fault. _Her mental voice added. She was right, as harsh as it is.

"Where is she?" Alice turned, about to take off to the school. I grabbed her arm and shook my head.

"Let go of me right now Edward Cullen. I'm going to go, I'm going to go see her now. I have to talk to her, I need to see her." Alice said, her eyes glaring at me as I tightened my grip.

"No Alice. It's not the right time. She agreed to talk to us after school, okay? She seemed so angry to see me..." Again I let my voice trail off.

"We need to tell Carlisle and Esme, we should bring her to the house." Jasper said, even he couldn't cover the pain in his voice.

"Yes. Emmett and Rose, you go get Carlisle and tell him. Then go tell Esme. Let them be ready, and explain that Bella isn't the same Bella. Make sure they know that and understand that she isn't happy to see us." I said, I didn't want them to get their hopes up if Bella didn't want anything to do with us anymore. She might resent us, hate us. I just don't know. If there was ever a time I wanted to know what she was thinking it would be now.

"Edward! That's not fair! I want to see her first!" Emmett said, coming closer to me. I put a hand up to stop him.

"No, go get Carlisle. Now, we only have less than half an hour before she'll be here. And we have no idea what to expect, she could have changed her mind about talking to us." I said, trying to make the point clear. They all nodded, they understood. Rose and Emmett went into her car and sped out of the parking lot. In all the time we walked the Earth, it was a race against time now. To get everything ready for when Bella came.

"Edward, I think I know why I couldn't see her..." Alice started, judging if I wanted to hear or talk about it. I nodded, waiting for her to continue. "Well, you know how I could never see any of that wolf pack?" She asked, both myself and Jasper nodded. "Well, that smell. That disgusting dog smell, could be some one from the pack. If there's one here I wouldn't be able to see her or anything. And I can't, I didn't even see that you were going to text me. There was nothing. I'm guessing she was around a pack member from the moment she was changed because I didn't see that either. I thought I just did a good job of not looking but it wasn't that, I just couldn't see!" Alice exclaimed which put some of the pieces together.

"Yes. That's also why we couldn't grasp her scent. That dogs stench over rules hers." Jasper added. I nodded.

"Edward, you think she's going to forgive us, do you?" Alice asked, looking at the ground her shoulders slumped.

"I don't know Alice. The anger in her eyes... the hurt... We don't know what she went through, we don't know anything about her anymore. I hope she does Alice, I don't want to lose her again."

"We don't either." Jasper answered, putting an arm around Alice.

I herd the bell ring and we all froze, standing next to our car, next to her car and waited. I looked for her and finally she came into view. She was flashing smiles and hello's to a few people until she seen us.

"It's really her." Alice said, her mouth wide open.

"Alice, don't." I said as soon as Bella seen us. Her eyes were cold, angry, no life to them. She looked like a completely different person with the features of someone we all once knew.

"Holy shit Edward..." Jasper said as he caught her emotions. Alice's thoughts were the same. The anger coming off her affected us all. We were frozen in our spot, her gaze burning us. Finally she stopped on the other side of her car, folding her arms. Obvious she was trying to get as much distance from us as she could. I hoped with everything inside me that she would forgive us, but I knew if she was going to it would take a lot of time. We hurt her bad, worst than I could have ever thought possible.

"Bella." My voice croaked. I hoped she couldn't sense the horrid pain in my voice, in my face. She didn't move or speak, just stared at us.

_You're right Edward, she doesn't look too happy to see us..._ Alice's mental voice sounded like a child, so hurt and raw. I slightly nodded in her direction.

"I think it would be best to speak at my house." I said and she nodded, still not saying anything. I wanted to hear her voice, I needed to know what she was thinking! She opened her car door and got in, turning it on. I tapped lightly on the window, did she know where the house was? Did she remember?

"Do you remember the way?" I tried as best as I could to have my face neutral but I knew it didn't work. She glared at me, the most intense look I have ever seen. There is no way to compare that look to anything.

"How could I forget?" She hissed and pulled out and started driving, a little too fast, out of the parking lot. I stood there, buckled over, frozen. Jasper put his hand on my back and I straightened up but still couldn't move my feet.

"I have never felt such a strong emotions Edward. It's not just anger she's feeling. She's hurt, she's freshly hurt too. Just take it easy okay? Don't freak out again please." Jasper said, getting into the back of the car.

"I've never seen such a look before guys. It's scary to know that it's Bella." Alice's voice was hollow, her head down.

"I warned you guys. That's why I didn't want to go find her." I said, slowly pulling out. I looked at my left and seen someone who looked familiar. It looked a lot like Jacob Black... Could that be the wolf? I didn't know they could choose not to age... Maybe he was the one that was always with Bella. He didn't notice me and I turned up the road leading to the house.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Jasper asked me.

"I need to, we all do. At the very worst of it, we'll at least know what happened to her. We need to know that." I said, staring straight ahead.

"I don't know if she'll forgive us." Alice said, tapping on her forehead.

"You still can't see her?" I asked and she shook her head. That's weird, especially since she's away from the wolf. I turned into the driveway and she was there. For some reason I didn't think she'd show, maybe run away. This proves that she wants to talk to us! I got out of the car and she got out of hers. It was about to begin, just a few more minutes and we'd be sitting down, talking. Talking to Bella.


	16. Chapter 16

**BELLAPOV**

I herd the car coming and I held my breath, there is nothing to prepare you for this. Nothing at all. There is nothing I could do, I was all by myself again. This is it, this is what I so desperately need but I'm not sure I could do it. I couldn't mask my emotions, there were just too many. I let the anger show so I could cover the pain, I didn't want them to see that. Not yet. The car pulled up behind mine and they got out. I wanted to run, to lock the doors and speed away, going as far as I could. To not have to deal with this but I couldn't do that. I was already here for heaven's sake. It's time to put on the big girl pants and do this, I gritted my teeth and got out of the car as they were walking towards me. They all had the same emotion splashed on their face, pain. Alice and Jasper passed me, not looking at me but Edward stopped next to me. It gave me a sense of joy that they were hurt too. But they have to realize that they're the ones that left me. I would have never left them, ever. They betrayed me! If they're thinking I'm just going to bend over and kiss their feet, to just forgive them and act like nothing ever happened they're mistaken. If they even think they know me or what I had to go through they got another thing coming to them! Not only did I get hurt by Edward I also got hurt by everyone else too. It's not like Edward just left, they all did. Not only do I have to deal with this, I just got heartbroken by Jake.

Three hundred years I spent with him. Three hundred years we were together, just the two of us. The two of us against the world, running away with each other. Three hundred years of building a relationship and with a glance at someone else the freaking mutt imprints on someone and that's all gone away!

"Come on, let's go inside." Edward put his hand on my back and spun around, not inches from his face. I barred my teeth, a little hissing noise bubbling in my throat.

"Do not touch me." I spat and turn around and went towards the house. He was at my side in less than a second, opening the door for me. I brushed past him, not even glancing at him. It pained me, to know how harsh I was reacting but I didn't care. It was time that they all seen what they did to me. I walked into the dining room where everyone was sat down. As soon as I walked in they all stood up, looks of horror on their face. Yes, I'm a vampire! Because of you people! I wanted to scream at them but controlled myself to just glare, at every single one of them. The hurt they put me through, the memories that haunted every single minute of my existence they would never know. They didn't know what they did to me, but they're about to.

"Bella..." Carlisle was the first to speak. His voice was so emotional, too many emotions to just pick one. Esme got up from the table and walked over towards me.

"Esme..." I herd Edward's low voice but she payed no attention to him.

"Bella! I'm so happy to see you!" She grasped me and hugged me tightly, so tight that I was thankful I was no longer human. I didn't hug her back, I just stood there while her body was rocking. She was crying! It made me feel a little guilty, but not guilty enough. I herd Carlisle clear his throat and Esme let me go, her face twisted in pain. I didn't say anything or move, I just stood there frozen.

"Please sit down Bella." Carlisle pulled out a chair next to him and I took it, sitting down. For some reason, it just felt better to sit. We didn't need to, I'm sure we stand for years and years and never get tired. Edward took the seat next to me, Esme across from me. The others took their seats, all staring at me. I just kept staring at Carlisle, waiting for him to continue.

"Bella...Who changed you?" He asked me, getting straight to the point which I was thankful for.

"Victoria." Everyone gasped, Emmett cursed under his breath.

"What?" Alice shrieked.

"When you left me," I spat in Edwards direction, "she was in the woods too. I guess she waited until you all were far enough away that you wouldn't hear me scream out your names, hoping you'd come help me." My voice was even, cold, angry. Nobody looked at me now and I knew I struck a nerve. "Sam Uley, a boy on the reservation could smell my blood from there. He sent out a pack, looking for me. Jake found me," my eyes narrowed at his name, the venom flowing in my mouth, "and took me to his house. I went through the change. While I was changing they staged an accident of my death. When I woke up, the funeral was over, everything was over. I couldn't stay there so I had to run away. I had to run, leaving my father, my friends. Jake went without me, he never left me." The last part I hissed. Nobody said anything, it was silent for a long time, everyone trying to swallow this information.

"Did they get her?" Emmett asked me after a life time it seemed.

"Yeah, the pack got her. They had my back." My voice went even colder.

I felt Edward turn to me and I looked at him, my eyes locking in his. He looked like he was tied to a stake, burning.

"Bella, believe me when I say I didn't want this to happen."

"Do you think I did!?" I half yelled at him. "I had to run away. I had my father believe I was DEAD. Instead, me and Jake ran away. We had no choice! I never had any choice in this Edward! I never wanted this! At the very least I just hoped she was going to kill me. Do you know why she changed me? She changed me because it would "hurt" you. It would "hurt" all of you when I was changed. But do you know who it hurt? It hurt every single person besides you all. It hurt my family. It hurt my friends. And it hurt me." My eyes narrowed, my voice was so acidic it even scared me a little.

"We didn't mean it Bella. And it hurt us too." Rose said, her voice low.

"What? Now you're talking to me? You're kidding me, right? You absolutely hated me! You never talked to me, you never cared about me. I tried my hardest for you to like me and you didn't give me a chance. Now that I'm a vampire, now that I'm like you, now you like me?" I hissed at her and she flinched.

"Bella, that's not true. I just hated the fact you were human, I only wanted to be human. I didn't want this. I didn't hate you." She said, reaching out to me. I put my hands under the table.

"So now that I'm not human you like me? I think it's a little too late for that now." I hissed and she looked down while Emmett put his arm around her.

"Bella, we didn't mean to hurt you." Carlisle said, his hand on his chest.

"No, you all thought that leaving me was going to perk me right up right? The people I loved the most just deserted me, not even saying goodbye. Not even an explanation! Nothing. And then we just happen to show up at the same town and you guys act like I'm the bad guy here."

"We're not saying that Bella, please." Esme said, looking me in the eyes. If there was one person I wasn't going to get angry with, it was her. I locked my eyes on her and I sighed.

"You don't know what it felt like to be abandoned. I was in the woods, alone, with just a memory of Edward. I lost my humanity because you guys left me. I had to exist, not live, on this earth for three hundred years. And with what? The memories. The memories of you all, every day, every night. It's all I had. And the main memory was when he left me. That's what I existed with. The only people that I called out for that night was every single one of you, because I thought you would save me. I thought you would help me. I thought you would come back. And you never did. I was left alone with Victoria." My voice was low, the hurt was over flowing now. It felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest telling this to them.

"Bella, we didn't want to leave." Alice said, looking at me.

"But you did." I answered her, cutting her off.

"You're right." Edward said as he slumped in his chair. "I made them leave because I thought it would be best. I thought you'd be better off without me." This brought back the anger in me.

"Don't hand me that self pity shit." I hissed at him.

"Bella, we always thought about you. It was hard on us, harder then you'll ever imagine was possible. We all love you so much." Carlisle said, putting his hand on my shoulder. I stood up, moving away from the table.

"You should have thought about that before now." I spat and walked out of the room. I opened the door and went down to the stairs, I was almost at my car when I herd the others coming. I felt a hard grip on my arm and I took it and twisted the hand and turned around. It was Emmett. I put him flat on his ass and he looked up at me, with a grin on his face.

"Can't say I expected that." He laughed, along with everyone else. I wanted to laugh too, it was pretty funny. The strongest person, well vampire, I ever met and I put him on his ass! But I controlled it and continued to walk away. I felt someone else come up behind me just as I got to my car and I spun around.

"Bella, I've missed you so much. You are the love of my existence. Anything you want from me, any way I can make it up to you I will. I'm not going to lose you again Bella. I'll follow you to the ends of the Earth. Please realize how hard it was for me to leave, I was doing it because I wanted to protect you from this but I was wrong. You're right, you didn't have a choice in any of this." Edward slumped to his knees in the mud. "Please Bella. Please." He bowed his head. The emotions I felt were starting to melt, I wanted to kneel down with him and give him the biggest kiss. I wanted to make him promise never to leave me again, I wanted things to go back the way they were. But they never would. I wasn't giving in to this, it was too soon. I'm not going to trust any emotions about him right now. I don't even trust him or his family. They could be up and gone again like nothing ever happened.

Without saying anything, I got into my car and pulled out of the driveway. Glancing once more at them, Edward on his knees. Alice crumpled next to him with Jasper wrapping himself around her. Rose holding Emmett's hand, looking down. Emmett with his face in his hands. Esme leaning into Carlisle and Carlisle rubbing Esme's head.

I missed them all, more than anything in the world. But the hurt they caused...the pain they caused can't be forgiven just after one plea. If I did choose to forgive them, it's going to take a very long time if I even can. And I'm not sure I can.


	17. Chapter 17

**EDWARDPOV**

_Edward, she still loves you. _Jasper's mental voice rose about the others. I didn't bother to answer him. I didn't want to talk, I didn't want to move. I just wanted to sink into the ground. _I felt it, when you told her you loved her, it was strong. There's just so much hurt and pain that the love for you is just buried. Give her time, Edward._

Time? Really. I don't want to wait, I just want her to come back and tell me she forgives me. I want her to tell me what to do to make it right, I want to know what to say to make that hurt go away. I want Bella back in my life, to spend all eternity with her. Nothing means as much to me, I would give anything to just turn back the clock. I would have never left her, I wouldn't have betrayed her. I want to make her understand why I had to leave, I only wanted to protect her from all of this; I was horribly wrong. I didn't protect her, I left her unprotected. She got attacked because I left. The only names she called when Victoria was there was our names, and we were gone. Too far to hear her, too far to know she was in danger.

"This is all your fault!" I turned my head, Rose was coming at me slowly, her whole body shivering in pure anger. "You're unbelievable! You MADE us all leave to "protect" her! And what happened, Victoria got her! And now she hates ALL of us because of YOU! And then we had to put up with you, disappearing and wondering where the hell you were while we were trying to heal too Edward. This didn't just affect you, it affected all of us. We had no say when it came to leaving her, we didn't want to. We didn't think it was smart but you didn't listen. You are so consumed in yourself and trying to do what you think is right that you don't listen to anyone else. It's all your fault Edward. They might not tell you or think it around you, but it's true. And you better fix it." She leaped at me but Emmett caught her and pulled her against him. I have never herd her talk to passionate except when she talked about when she was changed, and she doesn't even talk about that anymore.

"I know, Rose. Okay? I understand, thank you very much." I said sourly, my head bent.

"Well you better fix it." Alice spat and left with Jasper. I stood up, not having a clue what to do. Even my family is mad at me! Emmett picked Rose up and carried her into the house. I turned around to face the only ones still outside, Carlisle and Esme.

"Dear, don't mind what she said. She was just hurt." Esme said, walking towards me. "I think Bella will forgive us but Rosalie and Alice were right about one thing."

"What's that?" I replied, looking into her loving face.

"You have to fix it, you have to give it time too though. She has been through a lot because of us, I just hope she'll forgive us all. But it's not going to happen over night, you made a choice Edward. It may not have been the right choice, but you did what you think was best. You have to pick yourself up and right a wrong." She gently hugged me and Carlisle nodded.

"I know. I don't want to lose her again." I said, muffled by her hair.

"We don't either Edward. And this time we're not going to." Carlisle said, patting my back. "Are you going to come inside son?" He asked me and I shook my head.

"I'm going for a walk," I said and I seen the panic in their eyes, "I'll be back by sundown, I promise." I turned and got in my car as they shut the door to the house. I wanted to go find her, I wanted to find where she lived and I wanted to talk to her again. To beg her to listen to me but I knew it wouldn't do any good. Today was enough for the both us I think. I wanted to go somewhere where nobody would be able to find me, to just get away. I want to let go, to not have to pretend that I'm okay every minute. I needed a release and there was only one place that I could go for that. It was the meadow.

I got out of my car, I decided going through the woods would be faster and lead me right to it instead of having to park and then go through the trails. I started speeding, letting myself unravel as I went. I started screaming, started pushing harder into the ground. I closed my eyes and really let go, I knew I was almost there when I felt myself leave my body. My senses weren't working, I couldn't feel anything, I couldn't smell anything. I was in darkness and it felt so good. The only thing that was there was memories, emotions. I needed to do this, I needed to face my demons the right way, it was the only thing to do right now. I was almost there, face to face with the devil when I herd shouting, I snapped open my eyes and there was Bella, on the other side, glaring at me.

"Are you following me now?!" She shouted, coming towards me.

"No...I.. I didn't know you'd be here..." I answered her. I'm going to give her the truth, all of it right here. Right here in the meadow where we had a nice few memories. This was the perfect time, after everything that happened in less than an hour ago, it's time to be honest. Just the two of us, face to face.

"So you just happened to show up here? Why?" Her voice was low, there was only a few feet keeping us separated. I think that she had enough of covering her emotions too because she wasn't, there was so many emotions on her face and in her voice. She wasn't covering anything anything, this was the perfect time for a truthful conversation.

"I'll be honest with you Bella if you'll be honest with me." I stated, staring at her face.

"Fine." Her voice cracked, this was good. If I could see her emotions then I can finally tell what she's feeling, maybe even guess what she was thinking. I needed that, if I knew what she wanted or needed I could give it to her. I just desperately needed to know what she wanted me to do.

"I came here to let go, Bella. I needed to face my demons, my emotions. I just needed to feel better." I stated and her face turned into pain and she slumped to the ground. I wanted to run over to her, to hold her in my arms. I wanted to kiss her, kiss her like I never could. I wanted to protect her, I wanted to make the pain go away, I wanted the anger to go away. I wanted to make her happy again. "Why did you come here?" I asked her, trying my best to keep a level voice.

"I had no where else to go. This seemed like a good place." She said shrugging one shoulder, her eyes locking on mine. She was being completely honest with me and it made me so happy. I needed her to be honest if anything was going to get accomplished.

"What do you mean you had no where else to go?" I asked her, confused. I'm sure she had a house here and I'm sure that was Jacob Black I seen earlier. Surely she had him too.

"It's kind of a long story." She answered me, with a dark look crossing her face. I wanted to ask her to continue, I wanted to know but I didn't want to push my luck. I had to do this the right way, with give and take instead of just me taking.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to Bella." I seen half a smile flash across her face, so fast that if I wasn't looking at her face I wouldn't have seen it.

"No, I really don't want to talk about it right now." I nodded, letting that subject drop. I know that if I wanted this to work I'd have to change, I couldn't be so controlling towards her. And I did want this to work, I wanted it more than anything else that was possible.

"I'm sorry Bella, I really am." The words were out of my mouth before I even realized I said it. She looked up at me and I slumped down next to her, my knees touching her. She didn't move which gave me the strength and courage to continue.

"I was wrong Bella. I shouldn't have left. It's all my fault, please don't blame my family, just blame me. They didn't want to go and they told me over and over that it was a bad idea. I didn't listen, I just tried to do what was best for you Bella. It hurt me, so badly. When you left, Rose even tried to attack me." I said, waiting for her to say something and she never so I continued. "Why did you believe me so easily? I could see it in your face, I just knew it you believed me. I expected you to put up a fight. I thought I'd be there for a good couple of hours but you didn't. You didn't say anything at all."

"Because it made sense." She whispered. I nodded for her to continue and after a deep breath she did. "I never understood why you loved me, Edward. I was human, so plain, boring. I couldn't give you anything. So when you said you didn't want me it just seemed right. It was easier to believe and made more sense then you loving me." Her face was so saddened and it hurt me even more, as if that was possible.

"Bella, I have never stopped loving you and I never will. You gave me so much more than you could imagine! You made me feel alive and it angers me that you believed me so easily! You never seen yourself clearly, you were never plain Bella. I love you so much and it hasn't went away, there wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think of you." I reached out to her and she flinched, too early.

"Edward..." Her voice trailed off. "I just need time, okay?" I didn't care what she needed, whatever it was I'd give it to her.

"I'm not going to let you go again." I stated, looking deep in her eyes.

"I don't want to you." She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Be honest with me Bella. I need to know what you're feeling, what you're thinking." I said, reaching out to her again and I didn't care that she flinched. I held her hands, covering them with mine. I felt the electricity running through her hands, going into mine. It made me feel more alive than anything has since I first met her. This just was love, that's it. Reading about it is so different than actually feeling it. I've read hundreds of books about love, about pain, but it didn't do it justice. You just can't understand the power of it until you are face to face with it, feeling it yourself.

"I love you Edward, I always have. I never stopped thinking about you or your family. But you left me, Edward. It hurts to even think about it honestly. Not only does it hurt but it scares me because you can leave me again and I can't go through that again." She was looking at me, all the hurt that I caused, all the pain, all the love, was pouring out.

"Bella, you don't understand. I can't leave you again. No matter what happens I'm never leaving you again." I meant every single word I said. But they're only words, it's too easy to just say words. I had to prove what I was saying and I will.

"I think I owe your family an apology." She said as she stood up. "Let's go back there, please." I nodded and turned towards the way I came, I looked back and she was going in the opposite direction.

"Where are you going?" I asked her.

"Uh, to my car. I drove here like a sensible vampire." She half smiled at me again and it made me feel incredible! She's coming back, the Bella I once knew. It was going to take time but at least she's being honest with me and I'm being honest with her. I ran lightly to catch up to her and we both walked human speed out of the meadow and out of the woods, not a word was said. I reached out to hold her hand and she let me. I held on to it tightly, not wanting to let her go. It felt unreal, like a dream that Bella was here, holding my hand. It was so silent, so peaceful as if nothing has changed; as if we were two normal humans walking out of the forest, admiring the beauty. We reached her car and we both got in, Bella driving towards my house. This all just seemed too good to be true.

* * *

**Hi again :D Thanks everyone for the reviews! I'm so sorry that I have mistakes in it,**

**It's been a few years now since I read the books and I have forgotten things.**

**Trust me, Bella hasn't forgiven Edward yet. It's not going to be all rainbows and butterflies just yet!**

**And Bella has to face Jake as well! **

**There's still lots and lots of drama coming! I'm also starting to think of another story!**

**If anyone would like details of what I'm thinking of, feel free to inbox me here :D**

**I would like to thank every single person that has reviewed, my face literally lights up when you take the time out to do it.**

**It's the only reason I've been uploading so fast and actually getting far. **

**This is the most I've ever accomplished on a story and it's because of you guys :)**

**Thanks so much, keep reviewing :D**

**- Emily.**


	18. Chapter 18

**BELLAPOV**

I was very glad that Edward came to the meadow, I was feeling horrible about how mean I was towards him and his family. I know they deserved it for all they put me through but I still felt bad. Maybe that's the one thing about me that hasn't changed. Maybe I'm glad it didn't change. Even though we're heading back so I can apologize, I have to make it clear they're not forgiven because they're not. Not even close. I don't even know if I can forgive them for all this, it's just too much too soon. I don't know how to handle this, I don't know what to do. I can't even ask Jake.

I guess the main reason that I didn't go straight home is because I knew I would have to talk to Jake. I don't even know what I'd say to him! I'm just so pissed off! That's the only way to describe it, it's too unreal all of this. The exact same day that Jake imprints is the same day I'm reconnected with Edward Cullen which is the same day I have to talk to his family and flip out at them which is still the same day that I'm going back there to apologize. If there is a God and if he didn't damn me to hell I'd really appreciate some help in all of this!

"I really am sorry Edward." I said as we were getting close.

"Bella, it's understandable how upset you are." He started as I cut him off.

"Yes, it is. But I still shouldn't have snapped so hard." He did that famous crooked smile and I felt something inside me, something I haven't felt in a long time.

"Are you going to tell me why you have no other place to go?" He spoke softly, slow, I guess gauging if I'd be upset talking about it. I sighed.

"Maybe later." I said as we pulled in the gravel driveway.

"Come on." He said as he slipped out the door, coming around in human speed to open mine. I held back a smile and a giggle; too soon. He held out his hand and I took it as we walked towards the door. The others obviously knew we were coming but when we walked in hand in hand all jaws dropped. Edward rose his hand as a few of them were coming towards us.

"Can we all please go into the dining room?" He asked and that's where he led me, to the familiar table that I have already seen today. Everyone took the same seats as we had earlier and the tension was in the air. I sighed and decided I better start.

"I'd like to apologize, for how I acted earlier." I started and Carlisle put up his hand.

"Bella, we don't deserve an apology. We all owe you an apology." I wanted to agree with him but I never. I let him continue. "I'm sorry Bella, I'm sorry that this has happened to you because of us. I'm so sorry." His golden eyes were burning into mine. Before I had a chance to respond Esme spoke.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. You were like another daughter to me and it hurt me so badly to leave." She put her head on Carlisle's shoulder.

"I'm sorry we couldn't stop her and I'm sorry we left you so soon without a goodbye." Alice said, her sweet voice low.

"I'm sorry I couldn't control myself and attacked you. Because of me, we all left" Jasper hung his head, staring at the table.

"I'm sorry I didn't spend enough time with you! You're deadly Bella, even when you were a human." Emmett was smiling at me, nodding his head.

"I'm sorry you thought that I hated you Bella. I never hated you and I hope you believe that. There is nothing I want more in this world than to be human. I want to be human and I want to have a baby, to have a family. You had that Bella, and even though you didn't want it you didn't want it you could have had it. I didn't hate you, I was jealous. I resented you because you were human. You were everything that I wanted and I couldn't have. And I really do hope you forgive me for that, I regretted it Bella. I always thought about it and about you. I swear I'm sorry." Rosalie's eyes were burning into mine.

"Isabella Marie Swan." Edward started and I turned towards him. He took my hands and squeezed them. "I am sorry I left you, I am sorry I made my family leave you. I betrayed you! I was only thinking for myself, what I thought would be best. I didn't listen to my family, I wouldn't even give you an opportunity to speak. And I apologize. I am in love with you Bella, I always have been and always will be. There is nothing else for me but you, there's nobody else but you. And I hope in time you forgive me and I hope you can love me again, the way I have always loved you." He started leaning in towards me, so slowly. Giving me tonnes of time to move away but I never. I stayed still, waiting for him to kiss me.

I shouldn't want to though and I shouldn't let him but it was out of my control. Like always with him, logic was gone. In this moment I didn't care that he left me, that he broke me, that he's the reason why I'm like this. That he's the reason for everything bad in my life right now. In this moment I only wanted him so badly, I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted the love of my life and existence to kiss me, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and I wanted to show him in that kiss how much I loved him, how much I missed him. Finally his lips met mine, so softly. He put his hands on each side of my face and pulled me closer, deepening the kiss. I put one hand on his face and pulled me closer to me, moving my lips against him. Pouring all my hurt and all my love into that kiss. In all honesty, that kiss could have won an award. Finally, I broke the kiss, moving just inches away from his face and looking into his eyes. I herd someone clear their throat and I knew it was Emmett. I leaned away and every one was smiling, staring at us.

"Uh Bella, the room is that way." Emmett pointed and Rosalie jabbed him with her elbow. I laughed and everyone else joined in. After awhile of just talking, of sharing stories and memories everyone drifted off doing their own thing. It was very late, only a few hours until the sun rose again. Me and Edward was in his room which looked exactly the same from the last time I was in it. He sat on the couch that was in the corner of his room and I sat next to him. I knew that this was the time to tell him about Jake.

"Do you remember Jacob Black?" I asked him, testing the waters. He nodded.

"Yes, he was one of your friends from the reservation." He said, rubbing my hand with his thumb. I nodded and continued.

"Well, do you know about the wolf pack?" He nodded so I kept going. "Well, when I was changed, Jake found me in the woods. The leader, Sam, smelled the blood. Jake has just turned at that point and he carried me back to his house. When I changed and woke up, he was there. Him and his father Billy explained where I was and what happened to me. We went out for my first hunt when Jake told me about my death and Charlie. I was furious! But it had to be done. And since everyone in the town thought I was dead I had to leave. Jake came with me." Edward put his hand up to stop me.

"I don't understand what this has got to do with you having no where to go." Edward stated. I rolled my eyes and smacked his hand away.

"I'm getting to that, be patient. So, like I was saying, me and Jake left. We started having feelings for each other I guess and started a relationship. We traveled the world together, just the two of us. He always said it was us against the world. But there was a word I herd mentioned, how the wolves could imprint. Have you herd of that?" I asked him and his eyes were burning.

"Yes, I herd of it. It was mentioned a lot in their stories."

"Well I never asked Jake about it and a few years ago I started getting more memories from my human life, especially about this place. I knew I had to come back here and I really wanted to. Me and Jake left four days ago to come here and when we did we met up with Sam again. He is pretending to be "our adoptive parent" and we bough Charlie's old house. I asked Sam about imprinting and he told me. Today, Jake imprinted with someone. And I really didn't want to have to deal with that so I went to the meadow, I really just had no where else to go." We were both silent for a few minutes, digesting all of this.

"Bella, you can stay here, with me." Edward said as the sun rose behind the clouds.

"I'd like that." I smiled and kissed him again and forgetting everything.


	19. Chapter 19

**BELLAPOV**

I glanced at the clock and school would be starting in less than an hour! I guess Edward could see my panic when his brows raised too.

"I have to go home, I need to change." I said, standing up. We spent the whole night just talking, holding each other. Sometimes we stopped talking and was just staring at each other, getting lost. It felt relaxing but I made it clear I didn't forgive him, I just missed him. He took it good, I'm glad he didn't expect to be forgiven so easily.

"I can come with you, if you'd like." He smiled, standing up. I smiled back at him, wanting to run my hands over his body, to kiss him again.

"I'd like that." I replied. He turned around and threw some clothes on the bed and looked at me, his brows pulled together. Even though he seemed so pulled together, so mature, he was still a teenage boy; insecure. I giggled and turned around and I could hear him getting dressed. When I turned back to face him he was smiling at me and started walking towards me. He kissed me lightly and took my hand. We walked downstairs and his family was in the kitchen, everyone ready to pretend to be normal, to go to school like anyone else.

"That wasn't good, Bella. We didn't hear a thing." Emmett said winking at me. Boys will be boys!

"Emmett." Edward growled and everyone laughed.

"We're glad you're here Bella." Esme said coming towards me. She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek. This time I hugged her back.

"Well, we have to go. We'll meet you at school." Edward said to his siblings, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of the kitchen. I smiled apologetically at them and followed Edward. I knew it would be only too easy to stop him but it was getting a little awkward, especially with Emmett still winking and making innuendos.

"Do you think Jake will mind if I come with you?" Edward asked me, opening the door on the passenger side for me.

"I don't care what he minds Edward. And this is MY car, I'm driving." I walked to the other side of the car and opened my door, getting in. Edward smiled and huffed, climbing into the passenger seat. We both put on our seatbelts, smiling at each other at the silliness of doing that. I pulled out of the driveway and headed back home.

"Does it bother you, being in Charlie's house?" Edward asked me, staring at my face. I really didn't want to talk about that, he was starting to annoy me now. Like most men, I've learnt, he's a lot cuter when he doesn't speak.

"No Edward, it's perfectly okay with me. It's not like I miss my father or the memories hurt." I said sarcastically.

"Sorry..." He said low, staring out the window. I rolled my eyes. In a way I felt bad for snapping at him but it was annoying, such an obvious question. I don't know what's wrong with me really, I've never been like this. It's just him, he brings it out in me. And if he's going to want me to forgive him, he's going to have to deal with this too. I peeked at him and he was relaxed, obvious what I said didn't affect him. I sighed as I pulled into the driveway. Edward went to open his door but I stopped him.

"Just because I said I don't care what he minds, I'd rather not have a fight start right now." I said and Edward nodded.

I opened my door, leaving the car running and ran inside.

"Bella! Where have you been?" Sam asked me, his face worried.

"Chill Sam, it's not like I can die again." I winked at him and he grinned. I went to run upstairs but Sam stopped me by clearing his throat.

"Jake told me..."

"I really don't want to talk about it Sam." I said, my voice going cold.

"He also mentioned that the Cullen's are here." His voice wavered, and anger flashed in me.

"It's none of his business!" I almost yelled. I took a deep breath to calm myself. "It's none of anyone's business. I have to go change, I'm going to be late." I called out to him as I was flying up the stairs. I opened the door and Jake was there, putting on his shirt. His face crumpled when he seen me.

"Bella... We really need to talk." He said, coming towards me. I put my hand out and growled at him.

"I don't have time for that Jake. Edward's in the car waiting for me and I need to get changed." I snapped at him and he started quivering.

"He's outside?" He yelled and took a deep breath and the quivering stopped.

"Yes, he is." I said as I grabbed some clean clothes and opened the door. "And if you go near him, I'll kill you Jacob Black." My eyes narrowed and his mouth hung open, standing in the room. I closed the bathroom door and got dressed quickly while listening, Jake hasn't moved from the room. I opened the bathroom door and without giving Jake a look, I flew downstairs and out the door.

"I'm sorry Bella." Edward said when I got in the car. I looked at him and sighed.

"Not your problem." I mumbled as I pulled out.

"Bella, any of your problems are my problems. Anything that hurts you hurts me too." He said, taking my hand and kissing it. "But you are going to have to talk to him."

"I know." I sighed. The rest of the ride was silent until we reached the parking lot. I stayed in the car, not letting Edward's hand go. I turned on the radio to see what was on and flicked it off. We still had ten minutes before the bell rang and I didn't want to leave Edward yet. I seen Emmett's jeep coming into the parking lot and pulled in on the other side, they waved at us and we waved back, smiling. I seen a car coming towards mine and pulled in beside me. It was Jake and _her_. I looked over at Edward who threw me an apologetic smile.

"I'm guessing that's the girl he imprinted on?" Edward's voice was low.

"That'd be her." I was staring at her, hate in my eyes. She glanced over and shrunk back in her chair, turning towards Jake. Jake looked over at me and huffed in Edward's direction. I got out of the car and Edward followed, taking my hand. Behind us, Jake and _her _got out.

"Bella!" Jake sung out and I stopped, Edward stopping with me, not letting go of my hand.

"What do you want?" I almost hissed, the girl stopped while Jake was still walking towards me.

"I want to talk to you, Bella!" Jake yelled and Edward let go of my mind.

"She doesn't want to talk to you. And when she does, she'll let you know. See ya." Edward's voice was low and filled with hate. He took my hand and we walked away from them. If it was any other time, I'd be pissed that Edward did that. But if he didn't I probably would have torn Jake apart and would have done worse with his thing.

"Just so you know, the only reason I'm not mad at you for doing that is because if he came closer I would have killed him." I said to Edward, squeezing his hand. He laughed and looked down at me.

"I know, which is why I done it." He kissed my cheek and we walked towards my locker. Everyone was staring at us, smiling. I smiled back and exchanged hello's with those who spoke. The bell rang as I closed my locker and Edward kissed me, a bit too hard for a school scene. "I'll meet you here at lunch." He smiled and kissed me again, walking in the opposite direction of my class. I sighed, I wished we had all our classes together. I remembered that me and Jake have every single class together, except when I have bio. I gritted my teeth and started walking towards my first class.

"Bella!" I herd someone sing out and I turned around, thankful it wasn't Jake. It was Ashley and I was thankful. She seemed really nice and really popular and I smiled at her.

"I herd about Jake. What a jerk!" She said walking with me, I was glad she was in my first and second class. "You sit by me hun, okay?" She said, rubbing my back. I hoped she couldn't feel how cold I was through my jacket, I looked at her face and the only expression I seen was worry. I half smiled at her.

"Yeah. Thanks a lot." I followed her into the class and everyone was staring at me, the same look on their face. Pity, worry.

"So, can I have the deets? Please. Everyone wants to know." She said, her eyes pleading. I knew I couldn't tell her the whole truth, just a little bit of it.

"Duh." I said, trying to act like a gossipy teenager. "So, me and Jake have been together awhile right. We knew each other our whole life, we traveled together and all that. And then his parents died and Sam adopted Jake and I came here with him." I started as the teacher came in. Ashley obviously didn't care because she was still turned towards me. I glanced at the teacher and he was busy, going through his desk.

"That's so sad Bella!" She said, her hand going to her face.

"I know right!" I said, trying to seem as real as possible. "Well, so we come here and he meets this girl. And I'm out of the picture, just like that." I said, snapping my fingers.

"Oh Bella!" Ashley said. "What a jerk! But about the Cullen guy I seen you with?" She winked at me.

"Oh Edward?" I said, trying to keep my voice nonchalant. "I met him yesterday, he's in my Biology class. When Jake dumped me, Edward invited me over for supper with his family." I smiled at her and her grin was huge!

"Really!?" She squeaked. "That's freaking awesome Bella, you're so lucky! Everyone thinks you're the hottest girl in the school. It seems right you're with the hottest guy. So what's he like?" She started gushing and I went along with it, turning it into a whisper when class started. Jake walked in late, his face was vicious. I payed no attention to him and continued talking to Ashley. I really liked her, she was really nice and I'm glad she was on my side than Jake. It seemed so Junior High to gossip like this but it felt good, it felt good connecting with someone else. I have never really befriended someone and it made me feel amazing, like I really did fit in. The bell rang and Ashley and myself got up and walked towards the door. Jake stopped in front of us and crossed his arm.

"Hey jerk! Move it!" Ashley said, folding her arms. He shifted to one side and Ashley took my hand, pulling it out the door. I almost shrieked when she touched me. I must have been freezing to her but she didn't notice.

"Sorry about being so cold, I'm froze here. I'm use to much warmer weather." I said to her as we walked to our second class together.

"Oh don't sweat it! I was like that too when I came here. I was from Florida and we had to move here, my dad makes us move around a lot. I was like you when I came here too." She laughed and I let out a deep breath. It seemed like no time until lunch was here and I was walking towards my locker with Ashley.

"Sit with me at lunch?" She asked, smiling at me.

"I wish I could, but I have a lunch date with Edward." I said, winking at her.

"Oh my god! Details after school then? Here," she said, writing something down on a piece of paper, "that's my number. Give me a call and we can discuss everything! Even hang out, if you want to. Go shopping or something." She said, her smile widening.

"Absolutely! I'll call you after school." I smiled at her and I seen Edward coming close, grinning at me. Clearly he was reading her mind, getting a gist of what I told her.

"Hello Bella." His cool voice said, half smiling at me.

"Hi. This is Ashley." I pointed to her, "And this is Edward", I pointed at Edward. They both nodded at each other.

"Call me!" Ashley mouthed and I winked at her, taking Edward's hand.

"So, I see she thinks Jake is a jerk." Edward said smugly as we were nearing the cafeteria.

"Jake is a jerk." I replied, glancing around the cafeteria. Jake wasn't here yet.

"Bella..." I herd a timid voice call out my name, I turned my head and it was _her. _You have got to be kidding me. I held Edward's hand tighter, pulling him a little closer to me in case I do decide to kill her.

"What do you want?" I asked her, my voice as icy as it could possibly be.

"Why are you such a bitch me to me!" She squealed. "Yeah, Jake loves me! Not you, that's why he left you!" She screamed and everyone in the cafeteria stopped what they were doing and looked at us.

"Well, my momma always said to give my used toys to the less fortunate." I smiled sweetly at her and I herd everyone laugh, even Edward. She took a step towards me, her eyes blazing. She raised her hand, probably to slap me. I waited until she was a few inches from my face and grabbed her wrist, tightly. Probably a little too tightly.

"Listen to me," I said, my voice low so only she could hear, "you try to touch me again, and I'll break that wrist. I suggest you walk away and never talk to me again. Don't even look in my direction." I hissed, my face inches from hers. Her eyes were huge, she was scared to death. Good! I let her go and she rubbed her wrist, half running out of the cafeteria. The entire place erupted! Everyone was clapping, cheering, calling out my name. Edward squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. We walked to the back of the cafeteria and I wondered when everyone would stop! After what seemed an hour they finally went a bit lower, I could still hear the chatter about that little "cat fight".

"That was impressive." Edward said, grinning at me.

"Self defense." I said, batting my eyes. "She started it." I winked at him and the lunch bell sounded. I couldn't be more thankful that my next class was Bio with Edward.


	20. Chapter 20

The class with Edward went by fast, too fast. The bell sounded and we both rose out of our seats and started heading for the door.

"Bella." Edward said my name and I smiled, I loved the way his voice sounded, especially saying my name.

"Yes?" I asked him and he stopped. The halls were deserted and I knew I was going to be late for class. But if it meant even a few more minutes with him I didn't care.

"You really should be careful." Edward said, glancing around.

"Careful about what?" I was stunned. I'm a vampire, I don't need to be careful. There's nothing that can possibly hurt me and I can protect myself now. I don't need to be careful.

"That girl, Alicia, the one you kind of grabbed. She noticed how strong you were, how cold you are and you scared her." Edward said, moving closer to me.

"Good." I said smiling. I expected Edward to smile but he never, his face looked grave.

"Bella, that's not good. If she knows you're different that's dangerous for all of us. We can't risk that, you need to be more careful on how you act." Oh. That is true.

"You're right." I said, my mouth hung open.

"Don't worry about it for now, I'm going to monitor her thoughts and if anything suspicious comes up we all can just leave. It happened to us before." Edward said, kissing my lips lightly.

"And you'd come with me?" I asked, sounding so little. The words that he said, of him leaving... It reopened that hole and it stung a little bit. I wouldn't be able to let him go again, that would be too much for me. And I realized I had forgiven him even though I didn't tell him. I knew it deep inside me that he was forgiven! I felt betrayed by my own self but there was nothing I could do about it. I have opened my self back up to him and I would be hurt if he left.

"Bella, I told you a million times that I'm never going to leave you again. If you have to leave I'm coming with you." He kissed me again and I felt it, I knew that he loved me just as much as I loved him. There's no way he'd be able to leave just as there's no way I'd be able to leave him. I smiled at him and took a step back, trying to clear my head.

"I have to get to class." I whispered, smiling at him. He nodded.

"I'll meet you at your locker. I love you." Those last words pinned me in my place. I swear I could almost feel my dead heart twitch. Those were the only words that I needed to hear. Just three simple overused words. I knew he loved me but to hear him say it... There's no way to describe it. I turned around speechless and walked towards my class. I was thankful that the teacher I had, Ms. Hynes, seemed to always be late. I looked around and I seen all the seats were taken, except for one. Next to Jake. When I walked in the class there was another round of applause for me, people patting me on the back. It seemed so odd to be noticed for such a small thing. Then again, this is a small school. They probably have never seen action like that before. I half smiled, knowing that they were all excited of what I did made me feel on top of the world. Sadly, my world came crashing down when I took the seat next to Jake.

Jake, on the other hand, seemed extremely excited that I was sitting here. I gritted my teeth and looked straight ahead, paying to attention to Jake.

"Bella, you're going to have to talk to me sometime." Jake said, reaching out. I moved my arm away and under the table.

"No, not really." I answered him.

"I deserve it, I know. But you know I couldn't help it!" I could see him quivering and I knew I had to calm him down before he turned. That would probably be extremely hard to explain how a teenager who seemed normal was in fact a teenage one minute and turned into a savage wolf the next.

"Fine. After school. At Edward's." My voice was clipped and almost like on cue, the teacher walked in. I didn't speak to Jake or anyone the rest of class, I was just trying to calm down myself. I kept staring straight forward, almost looking through the teacher. I listened to her but I never really herd what she was saying, even with a vampire mind I had a bit too much to think about. Without warning, the bell rang. School was over.

It's kind of silly now, just a week ago I wanted to be back in school. I missed how carefree it was, nothing was hard and I liked it. Now ... I wish I would just graduate already. I didn't want to come back. I rose from my seat and Jake grabbed my arm. I turned slowly around to face him.

"Not at Edward's. Please." Jake said, his eyes pleading. He was radiating pity.

"It's there or nowhere Jake. The only chance you're ever getting." He dropped his hand from my arm and I walked out of the classroom. I walked what humans would call a half run towards my locker, being careful not to bump into anyone. Standing at my locker was Edward and I slowed my pace, just staring at him. The man that I completely adore and love, the man that said only an hour ago that he loves me. He greeted me by kissing me lightly on the lips and brushing my hair out of my face. I smiled up at him and then remembered that I had to talk to Jake.

"Me and Jake are going to talk." I said sourly as I put my books in my locker.

"Would you like me to come with you?" He asked, rubbing my shoulder.

"I'd actually like to do it at your place, if that's okay with you." I peeked at him and he was grinning, a full huge perfect smile. I leaned up to kiss him and before I knew it, those three words were out of my lips too.

"I love you, Edward." I was marveled at how that sounded and how his face lit up. He pulled me into him hard and kissed me even harder. I was a little embarrassed as we were still in school and people were staring. I pulled away from him gently and took his hand. We walked out of the school and into the parking lot. Jake was stood up next to my car and I took a deep breath.

"Relax, you can do this." Edward whispered into my ear, gently kissing it.

"I know I can do it, I just don't know if I can do it without killing him." I teased. When we reached my car Jake was staring at Edward, with a pure hate.

"Hello Jacob." Edward said sweetly and I nearly died, if that were possible.

"Yeah." Jake shrugged. "I thought it would only be fair to bring Alicia." She popped from behind him and I wanted to throw the car on her.

"Of course." I smiled at Jake as Edward opened my door. I noticed Jake opening the front passenger seat as Edward went around. "Jake," I said, "the back seat are for the dogs." Edward laughed out loud when I said this and got in, slightly pushing Jake out of his way. It took a few seconds for Jake to get his composure and get in the back, followed by his thing. Edward reached out for my hand and I gladly placed mine in his. A thought brushed past my mind, if I were to get in an accident, the only people that would be walking away was me and Edward. Maybe Jake too. I shook my head lightly and the thought vanished. We pulled into the driveway, safely, and I stopped the car.

"So, where are we going to talk?" Jake asked, his skin lightly quivering.

"Well, since it's cold out and raining I think inside would be best." Edward said sourly and opened his door. Everyone else got out too and followed us into the house. Nobody else was here and I looked at Edward.

"I thought it would be best to do this alone." Edward said shrugging, smiling that perfect crooked smile.

"That is the best." I smiled up at him and we went into the living room. I sat on the love seat with Edward, while Jacob and Alicia sat on the couch across from us.

"So." I said sourly, looking at Jake.

"Well, I guess I should start off with saying that she knows about me, about me phasing and about me imprinting." He said calmly, taking her hand. My mouth dropped open as did Edward's. "And she knows about your kind too." I stood up, ready to lunge at him.

"Bella, wait." Edward said, pulling on my arm. I sat back into the chair and turned my gaze from Jake to Alicia.

"I swear.. I swear I'm not going to say anything!" Her hands flew up and I could tell she was scared, and she should be.

"Why did you tell her about us!?" I screamed, absolutely furious.

"So it could be better between us all!" Jake shouted back, standing up. Edward tightened his grip on me, not because he thought he was able to stop me from tearing Jake apart, but as a warning. I might actually regret it...

"Do you realize the danger you put her in, Jake?" Edward said, he seemed to be the only one that could contain his emotions. Jake shook his head so Edward continued. "Human's can't know about us, about vampires. They either have to be changed or killed."

"I'll go with killed." I said, smiling at her. She shrunk back into the couch, clutching at Jake's arm.

"Bella! Relax for just a few minutes and hear me out!" Jake shouted again. "We were both drawn here, okay? It's fate. Think about it! The same day I imprinted was the same day you seen Edward. It was all meant to be. I can see how you've changed Bella, you're not as cold as you were. You're not clutching at your chest and you seem happy. And that's because of him. You love him, you always have. If I hadn't imprinted you would have left me. This way nobody's really hurt and everyone gets what they want." Jake said, his face crumpled. I hate to admit it, but Jake was right. This all did happen for a reason... Still doesn't mean I liked it.

"Okay." I said, standing up. Everyone rose with me.

"So are you going to come home?" Jake asked me.

"This is her home now Jacob, with me." Edward answered him and I looked at him and he was staring down at me. I smiled brightly and he smiled back, all the love in his eyes.

"That's fair..." Jake said, shuffling his feet.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean... you know, earlier." Alicia said, walking towards me.

"Hey! Don't come near me. Just because me and Jake are cool doesn't mean we're friends." I said, taking a step back. Her face froze with fear and I sighed. "I mean, maybe some day. But defiantly not today." Her face relaxed and she smiled lightly at me.

"So that's that. We're all good now, things can go the way they are suppose to." Edward said, taking my hand. I looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes, it seems after all this story has a happily ever after. Sort of." I said winking at him and everyone giggled. And I know that the future wasn't going to be so easy, but it couldn't be this hard!

* * *

**So, it's over! Everyone's cool with each other, blah blah.**

**I really really hope ya'll liked it :D**

**I'm starting to write another story, and it's going to be REALLY dark.**

**It's going to be about Bella being changed when Edward left, but Jacob wasn't there to help her.**

**Nobody was. She was indeed left on her own and there was only one place she fit in, that would be with the Volturi. She's basically going to be devoid of all emotions, she's going to be completely cold. The Ice Queen. She's going to have many powers and be involved in some pretty disturbing things! This story is going to be a hundred times better than this. And better written! **

**There's going to be so many actual fights, physical and emotional. There's going to be a lot of blood, a lot of hurt, a lot of romance. It's going to be good, I hope :D**

**Thank you to every single person that reviewed, I'm so glad you guys liked it. It meant a lot to me that you read it and took the time to write a review. Please stay tuned to my next story!**


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